


One Shots of a Ghostly Kind

by Trying_to_sleep



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: I attempt to understand biology and fail, I do not regret writing this at all, Vlad needs a break
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24624220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trying_to_sleep/pseuds/Trying_to_sleep
Summary: Enjoy the adventures of Danny Fenton as he causes mischief, teases Vlad and inevitably gets revealed at some point in a collection of one shots, none of which should be taken at all seriously.
Comments: 27
Kudos: 136





	1. Vlad Masters can't catch a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vlad definitely does not have a cat.

**I binged this series the other week and I've been trying to resist writing for it because I probably have better things I could be doing with my life. Then I remembered the potential for pure ridiculousness this show has and gave in.**

**Disclaimer: Not exactly sure who owns Danny Phantom, but it isn't me.**

Vlad Masters was a mild man. He was refined and sophisticated and _he did not need a fucking cat, shut up Daniel!_

That was why he was currently hiding under his ridiculously expensive table with his cat in his arms.

For future reference, it was all Daniel's fault. Now that he thought about it, most things were Daniel's fault. If the town hall was destroyed, it was Daniel. If Vlad's wall was suddenly turned intangible and all the press and media saw his private collection of packers merchandise, it was Daniel. If Vlad’s toaster attacked him when he tried to make his breakfast, it was Daniel. Actually, that one had been that idiot Jack Fenton because somehow, he had come over and managed to get everything infected with ectoplasm.

Anyway, the point was, Vlad did not like Daniel Fenton and he also did not know how to deal with Daniel’s latest escapade.

All around him, ghosts danced.

That’s right, they were having a fucking party in the middle of _his_ mansion. They were everywhere. Klemper was trying to make friends with his lab equipment, Skulker was flying about the bathrooms and Ember had somehow acquired a stage – Vlad didn’t even own a stage – and was giving an impromptu concert to a horrifyingly large group of teens who had also turned up in his home.

And there, at the centre of it all, was Daniel. 

His smirking face appeared upside down under the table Vlad was hiding under and he grinned. “Hey, Plasmius. Sorry for dropping in unannounced like this.”

‘Daniel Fenton, I will end you!” Vlad responded, looking as intimidating as he could while cowering under a table with his cat sleeping in his arms.

“Sure.” The boy replied, still smirking infuriatingly. “Whatever you say, Vladdie.”

“Don’t call me that!”

Daniel shrugged and his head disappeared for a minute. Then it abruptly came back into existence and his eyes widened.

“Is that a cat? Oh my god it is. You actually have a cat! This is beautiful. Hey Sam, Tuck!”

Vlad glared at him. “Maddie belongs to my sister. I’m keeping hold of her while she’s away.”

“Sure, sure. Wait, Maddie? Oh my god, you fucking creepy fruitloop. Wait a sec.”

The head bobbed away, and Vlad hesitantly stuck his own out from under the table.

He saw, with no small amount of trepidation, that Daniel had procured the stage from Ember and was gripping the microphone.

Fuck.

“Hey, everyone!” he said. “Vlad Masters has a cat!”

Cheers followed and Vlad turned bright red.

“What’s it called, Snuggles?” some kid shouted.

“Worse.” Daniel grinned. “Maddie.”

More cheers erupted, while Daniel’s friends burst out in embarrassed laughter.

Vlad had never wanted to disappear more than now. Unfortunately, Daniel had found the Plasmius Maximus, and his powers were shorted out until the morning.

* * *

The evening passed with many more embarrassments and humiliations; Daniel was at the centre of all of them.

When it reached one in the morning, people started to clear out and head back into town and the ghosts made their way through his portal – _which_ _no one was supposed to know about!_

Daniel, Samantha and Tucker stayed for a little longer, supervising the cleaning up. This meant the two full humans lounged about on Vlad’s luxurious sofa while Daniel floated above Vlad and pointed out areas he had missed. This took about three hours in total.

By the time it was five o clock, Vlad was ready to drop. His powers had kicked back in an hour ago, but Daniel wouldn’t let him use them, so he had done the entire job without their help. The other halfa and his friends had left some time ago, apparently bored of watching him clean.

Vlad couldn’t even be bothered to be offended.

He settled down at his kitchen table with a bowl of cereal when he was finally done, trying to get the banging of loud teenage music out of his head and trying to ignore the smell of his liquor cabinet.

“Oh my god.”

Vlad froze, hoping and praying that he didn’t hear what he thought he heard.

“Cannibalism!” Danny’s voice shouted.

Vlad sighed. “Daniel, I thought you had left.”

“You – you’re actually eating fruitloops. You’re a fucking cannibal!” Daniel cried, making himself visible through the wall.

Vlad regretted ever buying the offending cereal. It was all they had left at the store for god’s sake. He didn’t even like them that much!

“Go away, Daniel.”

“I have to tell everyone.” The kid breathed.

Then, ignoring Vlad’s polite request, he flew out of the wall, through the kitchen and into the hallway. Vlad, jumping up and following him, was quite pleased to see that he got lost on his way to wherever he was going. He was less pleased when Daniel finally made it to his lab and jumped through his portal.

He was never going to be able to go into the ghost zone again.

* * *

The next day, he was passing over Amity Park in his ghost form when Daniel and Skulker stopped their fight to gawk and giggle at him. Ember, who was trying to persuade the teenage population to say her name, did the same later. Even the fucking Box Ghost cracked up laughing in between his bewares.

Vlad, utterly dejected and humiliated, went back to his mansion, vowing revenge on Daniel Fenton.

He collapsed on his sofa which still bore the marks of Sam and Tucker, who had previously messed up all the carefully arranged cushions, and groaned.

Then he heard a noise and, being the mature and refined man that he was, jumped up and reached for the rolling pin out on the side.

He brandished it dangerously, Maddie mewing at his feet. He was prepared for whatever monstrosity might be hiding.

Another noise came from the other side of the room and he spun round, noting that his ghost sense was going off. The rolling pin pointed threateningly at whatever it was.

Vlad braced himself for the horror that was to come.

“Will you be my friend?”

The rolling pin struck thin air as Klemper quickly turned intangible and frowned. “That was rude. Phantom said you would be my friend.”

Vlad, who was slightly mortified at this point, only growled. “Well you can tell Daniel to stop sticking his arse where it doesn’t belong.”

“Does that mean you’ll be my friend?” the ghost asked.

“Get your ectoplasmic butt out of my house.”

“But we can be friends, right?”

“Get out.”

“But Phantom said…”

“You know what, Klemper, I bet Phantom would love to be your friend.” Vlad said, trying to keep his voice even. “Why don’t you go and see Phantom and leave me alone.”

“Phantom is already my friend.” The ghost answered. “He’s nice. He said you and me would be best friends. Even Skulker thinks we should be best friends.”

“I’m going to be having a talk with Daniel.” Vlad growled. “Get out, Klemper before I beat you up and stick you inside a Fenton thermos.

Klemper, who had clearly seen the inside of a thermos before and had no desire to see it again, disappeared with a wail of “Why won’t you be my friend?”

Vlad sat rigidly down on his sofa, breathed in and out and got up again, heading for the door.

He was going to pay Daniel a visit.

* * *

He flew over to Fenton works, plotting various evil plans in his head, but not able to decide which of them to use. That was the problem with being an evil genius.

In the end, he just came in, thankful that the door was opened by Jack and not Maddie and found himself sat on a chair with a cup of tea and some fudge. Daniel sat opposite him smirking.

“So Vladdie, what brings you here?” jack asked, reaching for more fudge and smiling.

Vlad scowled before schooling his features into a pleasant grimace.

“Oh, I just heard you had invented something new.” He gushed, silently applauding his acting performance. “What was it, the Fenton…”

Jack sat up straight. “Ah, you must mean the new Fenton anti ecto blaster 2.0! Its ten times more powerful than the previous one, and its perfect for hunting down that Wisconsin Ghost!”

“And, of course, Danny Phantom.” Vlad pressed.

“Oh no, me and Maddie have come to a truce with Phantom.”

“Maddie and I, dad.” Jazz reminded him.

“You have?” Vlad asked, shocked and ignoring the wide grin Daniel was giving him.

“Oh yes. He’s really been very useful in our research once he began to answer our questions. Isn’t that right, Danny boy?”

“Sure is, dad.” Danny said. “Danny Phantom is so brave and devastatingly handsome.”

“Yep.” Jack agreed. “We all love Danny Phantom in this house.”

Shell shocked, Vlad just stared incredulously at Daniel, mouthing ‘how the hell do you do it?’

Somehow, from the combination of fudge and the possible sleeping pill Danny had put in his tea, Vlad fell asleep on the Fenton’s sofa.

This proved to be a huge mistake.

It wasn’t until later, and after an important speech to the town, that he caught himself in his bathroom mirror and saw the sharpie moustache.

**I only regret writing this a tiny bit.**


	2. National appreciate Jazz day (she wishes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny is thoroughly embarrassed.

Danny Fenton was having a good day, as days go. He hadn’t been up all night fighting ghosts so he had actually gotten a decent amount of sleep for the first time in god knows when, and he had managed to make it through the entire day without having to rush out of class or getting ogled by the entire population of the school.

That was a nice change.

It all started when he got home from school. He was stopped by Skulker outside his door who spewed his usual disgusting ‘pelt’ speech and was quickly gotten rid of by the Fenton security system. Danny didn’t need to do anything except pull out a thermos and stuff him in.

He wandered down to the lab when he got in, hearing the tell-tale sounds of his parents clattering and doing their… stuff. Danny had given up questioning what the hell his parents did down there.

“Hey dad.” He said as he saw Jack Fenton’s feet sticking out from some machine where the rest of his body was probably stuck. With some effort, the man heaved himself up and grinned.

“Danny! How was school? Any ghosts for me to kill?”

Danny, used to his father’s extreme enthusiasm, smiled. “Nope. Just Skulker today, and I took care of him.”

“Good, good. You’re doing very well as my sidekick, son.”

“Dad.” Danny sighed. “I’m the superhero. You’re the tech guy.”

Jack pouted and moaned, “I thought that was Tucker.”

“I guess. You give me guns; Tucker makes sure said guns don’t explode in my face.”

“My guns are great!”

“Sure, dad. Where’s mom?” Danny asked, sick of the conversation and itching to say his obligatory hellos to his parents so he could go and read that NASA magazine he’d been waiting for all day.

“She’s in the _other_ bit of the lab analysing stuff.” His dad said. “I’d keep well away if I were you. All sorts of weird _biology_ experiments.”

“Thanks.” Was the only answer as Danny trotted off to where his mom was studying a microscope.

“Danny, wait!” jack yelled. “It’s dangerous over there!”

He laughed. “Not everyone’s afraid of biology like you, dad.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

“It’s very hazardous.”

Danny eyed the wires, ectoplasm and dangerous weaponry his dad was surrounded with and raised his eyebrow.

“Hi, mom.”

She looked up momentarily. “Hello, Danny.” Her eyes went back to the microscope. “Did you know that your blood is actually more ectoplasm than human red blood cells?”

“I… did not. Thanks for telling me that, mom.”

“And you have a huge excess of white blood cells with very little plasma in comparison with Tucker who has very iron rich blood.”

“That’s great.”

“And…”

“Mom.” Danny interrupted. “I don’t need to know about my blood.”

“But Danny,” she grumbled, “It’s a scientific breakthrough! Before you, we had no idea ectoplasm and carbon-based beings could even co-exist in the same world let alone share DNA in the same body!”

Danny sighed. “I’m barely passing biology.” He reminded her. “I’ll leave you to do the sciency stuff.”

With that, he decided he’d had enough of parental interaction for one afternoon and promptly phased through the ceiling to his room, handily avoiding Jazz, who was coming up the stairs.

He settled down with his magazine and happily became engrossed in space.

He was so engrossed, that he almost didn’t hear when Jack yelled him down for dinner. He quickly phased down to the kitchen and grinned at the plates of spaghetti that waited there.

“Hey, Danny!” his dad chirped. “Look at this new Fenton ghost net 2.0!”

Danny eyed the machine, which looked very similar to the Fenton ghost net 1.0. “What’s different about it?” he asked.

Jack grinned. “Well, this time, the net is bright neon pink!”

“Great.” Danny groaned. “So not only do I get trapped in a net, I get embarrassed at the same time.”

“Dad!” Jazz scolded. “No weapons that are potentially lethal to Danny at the table!”

As Jack sulked and tried to explain why the Fenton ghost net deserved to be at the dinner table, Maddie strode up the stairs from the lab.

“Danny,” she said wasting no time, “Your blood is one of the most exciting things I have ever studied.”

“That’s… good?”

“Yes. Yes it is. If we can manage to replicate the make up of your blood, we could take everything so much further!”

“So basically,” Danny summarised, “You can make weapons that hurt me and only me.”

Maddie flinched. “In theory. But we wouldn’t. I was thinking more along the lines of stem cells and super accelerated healing. It could be a huge breakthrough in medicine. If we can use your stem cells to…”

“Lost you at ‘theory’, mom.” Danny said. “Let’s just eat this food.”

“The food that I cooked for you.” Jazz reminded them. “And what do I get? Not a ‘thank you’ or a ‘oh Jazz, you’re so awesome, thanks for doing everything around the house because the rest of you are too lazy to even cook.’”

“Excuse me?” Danny gasped, throwing his hand to his chest. “Me, lazy? I’m Amity Park’s personal superhero!”

“And what would Amity Park say if it saw your pile of unfinished homework?” Jazz challenged.

Amity Park’s mature and brave superhero stuck out his tongue at his sister.

After dinner, the Fenton’s gathered around their living room table, slumped on the sofas. It was something Jazz insisted they do because ‘Family time is important, and we need to talk to each other instead of hiding in our rooms.’

Maddie, jack and Danny all protested this, but Jazz was rather persuasive when she had to be.

“Oh, Danny,” Jack sat up and dug around in one of the infinite pockets that were somehow tucked into his jumpsuit. That suit defied the laws of physics. “I was digging around in some old boxes earlier, and I found this.” He held up a book.

Danny’s brain immediately switched off.

The book was torn and was bound in leather, the way you might expect fake vintage books to be. The pages were rough and definitely not modern paper. Some people would have automatically poring over it, enraptured by whatever secrets it held.

Danny was not one of those people. Danny made the very clever observation, “It’s a book.”

“Not just any book.” Jack said. “This is the journal of my ancestor, John Fenton Nightingale.”

Danny’s brain abruptly switched back on. “What?” he asked, sitting up straight and eyes wide.

“John Fenton Nightingale.” Jack repeated, oblivious to his son’s panic. “He was a famous witch hunter. Look.” He handed the book to Danny, who flicked through precariously.

Jack, impatient, snatched the book back and opened it to a certain page. “This page tells the story of the time he found a black cat in a woman’s garden and it turned out she was a witch! That was apparently what made him become a witch finder.”

“Dad, that’s horrible.” Jazz frowned. “All those women dying for no reason. It wasn’t something to be proud of!”

Jack ignored her, although Danny thought she had a good point.

“And this one,” he continued, “Nightingale says that a portal opened from the sky and a white haired, green eyed demon came out with its evil witch mistress and a red headed goon. Of course, John quickly saw that the woman was a witch and he dealt with the demon too, by using blood blossoms to distract and weaken it. There’s even an illustration!”

He passed the book to Maddie, who eyed it, raised her eyebrow and glanced at Danny.

“This looks familiar.” She said. “Look at the girl.”

Jack squinted his eyes and snorted. Yep! She’s clearly evil.”

“Jack, I love you, but you’re an idiot. She looks exactly like Sam.”

“Ha ha ha ha” Danny laughed nervously. “Wonder why that is?”

Maddie contined to study the page. “The boy with the hat, he has a rectangle in his hand. It’s a PDA. And he has a yellow turtleneck.”

“So?” Danny tried.

Maddie was not impressed. “It’s obviously Tucker.”

“Huh, what a coincidence.”

Then she reached the last person in the drawing. “Danny,” she said, tone dangerously quiet. “Why are you in this?”

“What? That’s not me!” Danny laughed. “Must be some other ghost! Vlad cloned me, you know, it could be a clone.”

“I’m going to ignore the fucked up implications of that, and wait for you to tell me how you, Sam and Tucker ended up in 1600s Salem.”

“Yes.” Jack echoed. “And why is Sam your evil mistress?”

“Dad!” Danny yelped. “No. Please, please shut up.” he sighed, accepting that he was going to have to tell another story. “Basically, we found this map in the ghost zone, and a nice yeti let us take it home. Vlad’s planted cameras all around the house and he saw us with the map which is apparently a big deal. He planted a tracking device on us and followed us, then we did the same thing to him later and followed him to Salem.”

“I’m confused.” Jack said.

“Same.” Danny answered. “The map can take you anywhere, even through time. When we got there, Vlad was already in disguise and pointed Sam out as a witch. Then dad… I mean _John Fenton Nightingale_ tied her to a stake, which is seriously fucked up, by the way. I ended up in extreme and excruciating pain from the blood blossoms, which Tucker had to eat… and yeah. That happened.”

“Every time you tell one of these, it gets more and more disturbing.” Maddie remarked. “are you sure you’re okay?”

“Ha ha, nope!” Danny grinned.


	3. Goddammit Wes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny goes to comic con.

Danny isn’t exactly sure why he’s doing this. It’s not like he’s that much of a nerd, and he didn’t even lose a dare. Tucker is just really, really persuasive.

Danny hates Tucker sometimes.

Said friend stands next to him, PDA in hand and grinning. Danny wants nothing more than to slap that grin off his face.

“You make a good Phantom, dude.” Tucker says, eyeing his costume.

“I _am_ Phantom.” He bites back. “Why am I doing this?”

“You promised me.” Tucker reminds him. “You come to comic con with me as Danny Phantom, and I give you the doom update that your parents won’t let you get.”

Danny groans. “Still can’t believe I agreed to this.”

Tucker smirks and beckons him towards the sign that signifies the entrance to the comic con. Danny sighs and follows him, dread thick on his tongue.

Half an hour in, Danny is complaining. “This costume itches.” He groans. “And the wig. Why the hell am I wearing a wig?”

Tucker, who is happily buying doomed merchandise, ignores.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Danny tells him, tapping on his shoulder. He nods and turns back to the merch table where he’s currently having an argument with some other kid about the quality of a product.

Danny slips through the crowd, only slightly embarrassed to see the hundreds of Danny phantom cosplayers. The bathrooms have no queue, thank god. He goes into one of the cubicles and, checking that its firmly locked, snatches the wig off his head, steps out of the hazmat suit and transforms.

It feels ridiculously good to have his own suit, and he almost laughs when he sees his own white hair flopping down in front his face. He comes out of the bathroom feeling significantly better than when he went in.

Tucker takes a while to notice the difference, but when he does, his face is priceless and Danny doubles over in laughter. His friend has some doubts about the whole ‘secret identity’ thing, but Danny’s fairly confident that the world will continue its habit of being collectively blind.

* * *

The two of them wander through the hall the con is being held in, stopping at stalls and occasionally bickering about something. Danny’s kind of glad Sam isn’t here, because she’d just be complaining about… something. He’s not sure what, but he is sure that she would find something.

They are stopped a couple of times by people complimenting Danny on his cosplay and asking for pictures, which Danny happily gives, smirking at Tucker who is usually holding the camera since he refused to cosplay.

There’s a little kid near one of the panels who looks up at Danny with wide eyes, and blinks. “Are you Phantom?”

Danny panics for a second, glancing down at the kid who looks so awed and he can’t help but melt under his adorable gaze. Danny’s always had a weak spot for little kids.

He bends down to the kid and winks. “Yeah, but shhh. I’m hiding. It’s our little secret, okay?”

The kid smiles, wider than Danny thought a humans’ face could go. “I won’t tell anyone.” He vows, looking ridiculously sincere. The kids parent smiles tolerantly.

“I’m so sorry, sir.” She says. “He’s a huge Phantom fan. You have a great costume.”

“Thanks.” Danny grins. He turns back to the kid. “Hey, what’s your name?”

“Josh.” The kid breathes.

“You’re pretty cool, josh.” He holds his hand up for a high five, not really sure what else he can do. He’d love to take josh for a quick fly around the building, but they’re in public and he’s not technically Danny Phantom at the moment.

The kid smacks his hand with vigour and beams. His mom thanks Danny, and Tucker drags him off, questioning his sanity and asking why the hell he did that.

“He was a cute kid.” Danny shrugs. “I’m a sucker for cute kids.”

“You’re an idiot.” Tucker tells him.

* * *

They go to the doomed panel later on, both of them excited to see the creator who will reportedly be giving spoilers for the next version.

“Apparently, its gonna have a new boss villain.” Tucker babbles. “And you know that bug, the one Technus put in,”

“Yeah.”

“Well they figured out how to get rid of it, and, thanks to yours sincerely, and the amity park council, they made the entire game Technus proof!”

“No way.” Danny breathes. “Seriously?”

“Yep! They finally admitted that he exists, and so they got the best programmers they have on the job.”

“And…” Danny presses. “details, man!”

“Well they couldn’t do anything.” Tucker says. “But guess who could!”

Danny laughs. “You?” he asks, intending the question to be entirely sarcastic, because come on. Tucker’s fourteen and he’s not _that_ good with tech.

“Me.” Tucker grins.

Apparently he is that good.

“You’re joking.” Danny says.

“Nope. They knew I had some experience with Technus in the past, so they got me on it, and I just put in a virus with some of your ectoplasm and some of that new ecto-dejecto stuff your dad has.”

“How the hell did you get my… you know what, I’m not even gonna ask.

* * *

The panel is just as amazing as they thought it would be, and Danny gets congratulated on his costume by doomed’s creator herself.

Then, best of all, she announces a new character that even Tucker didn’t know about – Danny Phantom.

Danny, who doesn’t really care about copyright laws and doesn’t think to wonder when his alter ego became someone that gets put into video games, is thrilled. He beams, and Tucker has to remind him that he’s not actually meant to be Phantom for the fifth time that day.

* * *

The worst bit of the day comes with the cosplay competition. It’s the worst bit of the day because Danny loses.

He and Tucker arrive with high hopes, and join the line of Danny Phantoms, smirking to each other.

They take in the competition with a critical eye, Danny pointing out all the things wrong with the other Phantoms. One of them, a tall guy with a smug face, starts talking to them and Danny has to pretend that he is a devoted phan which is very uncomfortable.

“I’m phantom’s biggest fan.” The guy says. “I have all his action figures, and mom says we can go to amity park next summer. I bet I can meet him there.”

“Phantom saved me once.” Tucker butts in. “He’s always at my school.”

“No way.” The guy gasps. “You live in amity?”

“Yeah.” The geek says, and gestures to Danny. “We both do.’

“Uh… yep.” Danny gives, shooting glares at Tucker.

“Nice costume.” The guy notes, eyeing Danny up and down. “Really realistic. How’d you get that glow?”

“Uh… glow?”

“You know, cause he’s a ghost, Phantom has a sort of… glow around him. Like an aura or something. How did you manage to do it?”

Tucker saves him, thank god. “It’s that glow in the dark paint stuff. I helped him with his costume. We just thinned it down with water and painted a layer on his jumpsuit.”

“Nice. Very nice.”

Danny and Tucker make a quick getaway.

* * *

It’s not long before each Phantom has to parade across the stage. Danny entertains the idea of hovering a few inches off the ground and put it down to jet boots, but Tucker quickly makes him come to his senses, and he ends up just using a fake ecto blaster he bought earlier to disguise one his blasts. He’s relying on his _being actual Danny Phantom_ to win, and at this point, he actually wants to for some reason.

The judges are obviously blind. They don’t pick him. They pick some guy with a bad wig that isn’t even the right colour, and whose suit is baggy and doesn’t have his symbol on it. He hadn’t even bothered to put in green contacts.

Danny storms off to where Tucker is laughing his ass off as the guy stands on the stage, enjoying all the applause that should be Danny’s.

“Tucker, we’re going.” Danny announces when they exit the contest space.

“But I still have to get to the _wonder_ panel!” Tucker protests, but is cut off by Danny’s glare, which may or may not be glowing.

“I was beaten in a Danny phantom cosplay contest.” Danny says. “I am Danny phantom. I will not be beaten by some kid who can be bothered to have an actual costume.”

“Oh, hey guys.” Someone says. Danny whips round to find the guy in question smiling at them. “I didn’t recognise you.”

“Uh hi…”

“It’s me, Wes Weston.” The contest winner says. “This must suck for you, Danny.”

“Goddamit Wes!” Danny screams.

“Fuck you, dude.” Tucker adds.

They leave quickly after that, and Danny is still fuming the next day at school where they both pointedly ignore Wes – more than usual, that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure who Wes is. As far as I can tell, this crazy fandom has come up with a whole ass character that we all agree exists and knows about Danny, but wasn't in the show?? I'm using him anyway; he has the potential for good comic relief. Also, I've never been to a comic con. I don't know how they work, so I probably got some stuff wrong. Just go with it.


	4. Yeet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny makes a good ghost.

The day Danny Fenton died was a sad day for all. Well, only really for the people that knew of his existence, which wasn’t really that many in the general scheme of things, but a quick post on social media gained many comments on ‘how tragic it was’ or how ‘he was such a good kid’ ‘you didn’t even know him, Janet.’

Casper high had a memorial assembly where Dash Baxter did a good job of pretending that he hadn’t been beating up the kid for the entire time they were in high school.

Unsurprisingly, Danny’s two actual friends and his sister weren’t at school for a while, which everyone understood. When they came back, they slipped about the halls of Casper, ignoring all the stares and talking only to each other.

No one wanted to confront them.

* * *

The day Danny Phantom died was confusing for everyone. He was a ghost, surely he couldn’t die again?

Apparently he could.

Most of the town was witness to Phantom’s demise and it was a harrowing event.

The horrible thing was, it wasn’t even a dangerous ghost that did it.

It was the fucking box ghost.

No one knew exactly why Phantom couldn’t beat the ghost who usually couldn’t get five feet away from the Fenton portal before being sucked up in a thermos. No one knew exactly how Danny Phantom had ended up free falling from fifty feet up in the sky with no powers. No one knew how he ended up crashing into the hard tarmac below. Everyone knew why he didn’t get up again.

The town held a huge funeral honouring their fallen hero, while the Fentons mourned their dead son in private without knowing the two were connected.

Ghosts stopped coming through the portal soon, either out of respect, or out of fear. Amity park was generally calm except for the odd ectopuss sticking its head out of the portal to creep around.

The atmosphere was tense for a few months before it all started to calm down again and people began to get used to the day being uninterrupted by ghosts.

That was until the haunting started.

It was subtle at first – you wouldn’t know it was happening unless you were there.

The old abandoned house near the school was the first to have the new ghost’s treatment. It had apparently decided to take up temporary residence there while it figured out what to do with itself, and people suddenly started avoiding it even more than they already did.

Next was the school itself. Students having an English lesson swore the temperature dropped ten degrees when the door creaked open and Mr Lancer, in the middle of giving a lecture on the importance of symbolism in Macbeth, jumped out of his skin.

The ghost had a sense of humour too, brandishing a dagger at the teacher while repeating Macbeths speech in the spookiest voice it could possibly do. After getting over his shock, Mr Lancer spent the rest of the lesson giving the ghost notes on its performance. It promised to practice and do better next time.

The nasty burger employees got a shock when all the condiments disappeared and then promptly fell on top of their heads. Later, people eating there had to endure their burgers being lobbed around the room.

Eventually, nearly everywhere in the town had been victim to the mischievous ghost’s pranks and terrible sense of humour.

A couple of weeks after it first started, the ghost reached the Fenton’s.

* * *

Maddie and Jack Fenton were trying their best to cook food for their daughter and them. They were, predictably, failing and their casserole ended up bright green. They had just picked up the phone to order pizza when the lights went out.

This was rather confusing as Jack had replaced all the bulbs in the kitchen just the other day when he had accidently blown them all up. He came to the obvious conclusion of, “Ghost!”

“Jack,” Maddie sighed, her eyes tired. “There’s no ghost. They don’t come anymore.”

The tablecloth flapped under them and Jazz shivered despite it being July.

The windows rattled.

Maddie, suddenly alert and not looking nearly so sure of herself, jumped. Jazz frowned.

They all whipped round as the window clattered again and frosted over. The Fentons watched. Through the frosted window, writing appeared, as if being written with a finger.

One singular word that struck fear into their hearts was spelled out.

Y e e t.

“Yeet?” Maddie asked. “What on earth does yeet mean?”

“I have no idea.” Jack said. “Perhaps it’s some kind of code? Or a secret ghost language?”  
  
Jazz, who, despite being a teenager, was sadly out of touch with the language used by them, had nothing to input.

In the end they called Tucker Foley, someone Jazz felt could probably help them.

“Yeet.” He mused. “Very interesting.”

“Do you know what it is?” Maddie asked eagerly.

“Well,” Tucker started, “Yeet is a term meaning ‘to throw’ but is mostly used by gen z kids as a meme. Honestly. I use it loads but I have no clue what the hell it means.”

“So you cant help?”

Tucker examined the window more closely and promptly turned an interesting shade of purple.

“I know that writing.” He said. “That’s _his_ writing.”

“You mean…”

“Danny. Yeah.”

“But… what…?” Jazz stuttered. “Is he… alive?”

The window, which everyone had been ignoring for a while, suddenly frosted over again, causing everyone to jump.

E h, n o t r e a l l y

“Danny!” Maddie screamed, shocked out of her mind.

U h… h e y m o m?

“Daniel Fenton, what the hell is going on?” Jazz questioned, her face stern and eyes glistening with tears.

“That can’t be Danny.” Jack murmured. “Danny is dead. Which blob of ectoplasm is doing that?”

Y e a h… a b o u t t h a t.

“What?” Tucker said.

Y o u k n o w h o w g h o s t s e x i s t?

“Uh… obviously.”

T a d d a h!

And something phased through the window.

It was blue skinned and black haired with glowing green eyes. It was smirking.

“Danny?” Maddie gasped. “You’re a ghost?”

“Well… that’s kind of what happens when people die.” He shrugged.

“No. No its not.” She frowned. “Most people just pass on peacefully. Its only people with something connecting them to this world that become ghosts. They need an obsession.”

“Yeah, again, about that.”

Tucker’s eyes, seeing Danny’s resigned glance down at his feet… tail… whatever, widened.

“No way.” He breathed. “You’re actually gonna…”

“Yeah. Now that I’m… you know, actually dead, it’s probably time for them to know.”

“Can you still transform?” Tucker asked, fiddling with his PDA.

“I can actually. It looks a little different – much more like _him_ than I would like… but yeah.

“Excuse me,” Jack put in, “What are you on about?”

Danny grimaced and braced himself. The rings, so familiar to the younger people in the room, appeared around his waist and made their way up his body, changing him.

Danny Phantom stood before them a few seconds later, changed, but still recognisable.

“Well shit.” Jack said. “We’re all idiots.”

“Pretty much.” Dany agreed with a shrug. “Sorry for the whole… lying for four years thing. And the whole dying all the way thing.”

“You know Sam’s going to kill you again, right?” Tucker reminded him.

“Shit.” Danny muttered. “Didn’t think of that. Well, it’s probably time for me to go, huh? See you guys later I guess?”

Sam did indeed swear vengeance later on when Tucker told her, and it took him and all of the Fentons to stop her from storming the ghost zone until she found Danny to kill him even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be a really angsty and serious fic, but it's impossible to write angst, so it turned into this.


	5. Fame sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny discovers there is a Danny Phantom museum. He's not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't necessarily set after Phantom Planet, but it is set after some kind of worldwide reveal. I'm also not really happy with it, but I wanted to write something, so here this is.

****Danny Fenton was not a morning person, that was for sure. He used to be – when he was younger, he would be up and about at such an early time that his family had to make sure he stayed in bed long enough. Now, he usually slept in until well after he should have been in school.

In his defence, ghosts existed. And he had to fight them. At three in the morning.

This meant his sleep schedule wasn’t the best. It was also the reason he was currently flying as fast as he humanly… ghostly? Could.

At least now, people knew why, and Lancer was often willing to overlook his tardiness on the basis that he had, you know, saved the world multiple times and was the reason everyone wasn’t dead. That seemed to be a pretty good reason.

He got to school only fifteen minutes late – a record this month – and phased through the ceiling into his seat.

“ _Pride and prejudice,_ Daniel!” his teacher gasped, putting his hand to his heart. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

He shrugged. “Sorry, sir. Habit, you know.”

“I don’t, actually.” Lancer said with a dry glare. “Now as I was saying, Shelley uses the metaphor of the monster’s inhumanity to Frankenstein to…”

Danny zoned out quickly, having A. no interest in Frankenstein, and B. already met Mary Shelley’s ghost in the ghost zone and found out that she just made the story up on a whim while telling tales around a campfire.

He started a little when Sam chucked a note in his direction but recovered quickly and opened it to find a rather interesting commentary on Frankenstein that he was sure Mr Lancer would not like to have seen. He chuckled and scrawled a reply on the back before reaching over and planting it on her desk.

Halfway through the lesson his ghost sense went off, and several people who were just as bored as him looked at him happily as he was about to provide a great distraction.

He stuck his hand up in the air and waited for Lancer to stop his rant for a few seconds.

“Uh, Mr Lancer?”

“Daniel?” the teacher asked pleasantly. “Do you have anything to add on the social context of Frankenstein?”

“Uh, no.” Danny said. “I need to go.”

Lancer looked disappointed for a second, before deciding that he would rather be safe from a malevolent ghost than get Danny’s views on a book, and waved his hand dismissively.

Danny glanced back at the window to see his whole class crowding round it to watch as he laid waste to Skulker yet again. He could see his teacher waving his hands in the background, trying to get everyone back to their seats.

When he got back to class, they had finally moved on from Frankenstein, and were talking about the next thing they would study – The Tempest. Not one of Danny’s favourites.

Ah, who was he kidding. He’d never even heard of it.

Thankfully, this conversation was stopped before Lancer could get onto his weird obsession with William Shakespeare. It was stopped because the principal came into the room.

This wasn’t a particularly rare thing, as she often came to check up on Danny, but it wasn’t exactly common either, so the chatter and games of noughts and crosses stopped as she stepped in.

“Principal Ishiyama, what a surprise!”

“Yes, yes.” She said impatiently. “Nice to see you too. I have an announcement.”

“Yes?”

She sighed. “Your class has been chosen by a totally anonymous benefactor to visit the Danny Phantom museum and a weekend trip in New York.”

“Oh yeah, totally anonymous.” Danny drawled. “Does that mean Vlad Masters?”

“As I said, Mr Fenton, totally anonymous.”

“He just wants to embarrass me.” Danny groaned. “I mean seriously, Danny Phantom museum… wait what? Since when did I have a museum?”

‘You didn’t know?” Dash asked him looking confused. “I thought everyone knew now.”

“Uh, no! why did no one tell me there’s a museum about me? What the hell is so interesting about me that they have a whole ass museum?”

“You want a list?” Tucker grinned. “And also, this whole thing sounds like a bad fanfic trope.”

“Only because you read too much fanfic.” Sam reminded him.

“That’s fair.”

“So when do we go?” Star asked the principal.

* * *

They stood outside security in the airport waiting impatiently.

“He’s been forever.” Paulina groaned.

“They classed him as a dangerous weapon.” Sam explained for the millionth time. “You’re not allowed to carry weapons through.”

They both looked up as they heard a sigh of relief come from near the security exit. Danny came trudging out, looking thoroughly annoyed.

“They searched me!” he complained. “And they thought I was lying about being me! Even when I got my passport out! And then I had to put on power dampeners to go through the machine. How did they even get hold of those things?” he shuddered. “I hate them.”

“We know, Danny.” Sam patted his shoulder. When Danny had first come back to school after the big reveal, the board had insisted he wear wristbands to weaken his powers so he couldn’t hurt anyone, but they had eventually got them to relent and now he was free to be as he was before.

* * *

They got to their hotel two hours later and it wasn’t long before everyone collapsed in their rooms, too exhausted to think about anything else but sleep. Danny on the other hand, had to think about Klemper, who had followed him all the way to New York to suggest that they go and see a Broadway show together as friends. Danny groaned and stuffed him into a thermos, apologising as he did, because the guy wasn’t doing any harm.

* * *

The next day saw Lancer knocking on everyone’s doors and trying his best to pretend to be cheerful at seven in the morning. The kids stumbled downstairs for breakfast and then piled on the coach to go to the honest to god Danny Phantom museum. It actually existed.

They knew exactly when they saw it, because it had one of those huge Phantom statues outside it, despite New York not being a capital, and it proclaimed its subject in huge lettering that had Danny blushing bright red.

Sam and Tucker grinned. Maybe this would be more fun than they thought if Danny was going to be embarrassed all the time they were there.

Danny groaned and covered his face.

A perky tour guide met them at the gates and waved a cheerful welcome, explaining what the museum was there for – as if it wasn’t obvious – and checking that they all knew who Phantom was – duh!

They did not notice Danny, or if they did, they didn’t say anything.

“So, here in the lobby, we have Phantom’s origin story.” They said, waving a hand to the display on the wall. “We all know about Phantom’s ghost fighting, but did you know he is actually part human too?”

They looked at the class expectantly, who were all trying not to look at Danny.

“Cool, right? He’s like a comic book superhero, but he’s real!”

“Well obviously.” Kwan muttered. The tour guide ignored him.

“Moving on,” they called out, “Danny Fenton died in a portal accident in his parent’s basement and his DNA was changed on a molecular level, with strands of ectoplasm fusing to it. I’m not a biologist, but I’m sure you know that the chances of this are incredibly small.”

“How did they even know that?” Danny murmured incredulously.

“And here we have our photo gallery, as well as some replicas of the weapons Phantom uses in his fights. Obviously, none of them work – we wouldn’t want any kid to get their hands on these.”

“Yeah. Not like the world was being saved by a couple of those kids on a daily basis.” Danny glared at the guide, leaning over to Sam and Tucker. “They really don’t know that I’m here, do they?”

“Guess not. I can see why the world was oblivious for so long.” Sam giggled.

* * *

It took until the mid-afternoon for the tour guide to realise they were from amity park, after which they started freaking out and it ended up being a personal Q&A for the kids on what it was like to live so close to Danny Phantom.

It took until Desiree turned up shortly after for them to realise Danny existed. He had calmly transformed and floated up to take care of the ghost and when he got back down, they were passed out on the floor. Lancer had called for medical assistance through his very professional laughter.

* * *

That evening, they went to see ‘Danny Phantom: the musical’ which made Danny both bright red and incredulous as he watched himself and someone who was clearly meant to be Sam flirt on stage. Sam herself was fuming at the representation and he knew she would be writing a strongly worded letter when they got back.

Tucker laughed it off back in their room afterwards.

Danny did end up enjoying the rest of his trip, but he had never been happier to get back to amity park on the Sunday night, especially after another fiasco at the airport where they had found the thermos and he had to persuade them not to empty it of all the dangerous (and not so dangerous) ghosts inside.

He slumped in his bed in his own house, tired out and not wanting to take any more fame. Fame sucked.

But seriously, why didn’t he know there was a museum about him until now?


	6. Tucker meets the iPhone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tucker discovers the iPhone and hacks Apple.

“What the hell is this?” Tucker screeched, voice cracking. “Where are the PDAs?”

“I’m sorry, sir. These are the newest iPhones, new from Apple.”

Tucker narrowed his eyes. “And what happened to the new PDA I was saving up for?”

The shop assistant cowered under his terrifying gaze. Forget Danny’s glowing eyes, Tucker could be just as scary when he wanted to.

“We didn’t get a new delivery, sir. There is more demand for smartphones now and…”

Tucker growled. “Danny, get over here.” Danny got over there.

“What?” he asked.

Tucker turned to the poor girl. “This is Danny Fenton.” He said. ‘Also known as Danny Phantom. He can and will ruin your life if you don’t tell me where the PDAs have gone and why they’ve been replaced with these… monstrosities.”

“Sir, i-“

“Tucker,” Danny put in, “I’m not being your puppet, and I’m not hurting anyone. I’m sorry.” He said to the assistant. “He can be a little intense when it comes to tech. And dude, secret identity! Ever heard of that?”

Tucker snarled.

“Come on, Tucker. These phones look pretty cool. Look, they’re touchscreen and everything. Let’s just get one and go.”

“PDA…” Tucker groaned.

“No.” Danny told him, leaving no room for arguments.

* * *

“I can’t work it!” he complained, swiping at the screen with his fingers and then growling at it when it didn’t respond.

“You have to be gentle.” Sam scolded. “Look.” Her fingers easily moved the screen to and fro over the home screen.

“It has no buttons.” The other boy complained. “It needs buttons.”

“It has a button.” Danny pointed out. “Look, at the bottom.”

“It’s tiny. I can’t even fit my finger on it!”

“You’re just being dramatic. It’s easy.”

Tucker folded his arms and turned his head. “I don’t like it.”

* * *

“So how are you doing with the phone?”

“I hate it.”

“I know.” Danny said. “I asked how you were doing with it.”

“It’s horrible. It’s fragile and stupid and I can’t change the coding.”

“You’re not meant to.”

“Yeah, but I always tweaked the code on my PDA to get it to do all the stuff I wanted. I can’t do that with this _thing_.”

“You’re unhealthily obsessed with them, you know.”

“Oh, I know.”

* * *

“Danny!”

Danny turned around in surprise to see Tucker waving the iPhone in his hands. “What?” he asked, wondering why on earth his friend was looking so happy when the phone was nearby.

“I finally got it to work!”

“Like you can work the screen?”

“I’ve hacked it!” he corrected.

“You’ve hacked the iPhone.”

“Yep. Just had to get into apple’s database, tweak a few… a few hundred lines of code and then get out before I was caught. So now all the iPhones currently in use work to my coding and I also transferred all my data from my old PDA onto the new phone. And I added more buttons.”

Danny mouth opened then closed again, unable to think of anything to say.

* * *

“I got an email today.” Tucker said.

“Yeah, and?”

“It was from Apple.”

Danny raised his eyebrow, and Sam looked unimpressed. “What did it say?”

“Tasked how the hell I had hacked into their files, told me not to do it again and then asked me to come and work for them. I don’t think they realise I’m fourteen.”

“What did you say?”

“I told them I wanted to get a couple of years playing Doomed in first, then I’ll think about it. After all, I do have to get through MIT, and I don’t know if I want to go all corporate like apple. Maybe I’ll set up my own company. Just think, _Foley – new and modern PDAs._ Much better than Apple. _”_

“Sounds horrible.” Sam said. “How about, _Tucker Foley needs to stop being such an egotistical ass?”_

“Shut up, Sam. Oh, and I also sent them an email pointing out everything wrong with their design and the way it works and what they could do to make it all a hundred times better.”

“Turn them all back into PDAs?”

“You got it.”

* * *

“I cannot believe them!”

Sam pinched her forehead. “What’s happened now?”

Tucker gestured, and Danny held up a huge cardboard box. “They’ve sent me a year’s supply of the new iPhone. After I _specifically_ said I don’t want anything to do with them or that abomination!”

“Does that mean we can have them?” Sam asked, eyeing the expensive phones with glee.

“And sell them?” Danny added, looking into his empty wallet.

“Be my guest.” Tucker mumbled. “I have my new PDA. I’m happy.”

* * *

If the entire student body of Casper high suddenly got a brand new iPhone out of nowhere, Danny, Sam and Tucker had nothing whatsoever to do with it. And if Danny suddenly got enough money to buy the Doomed update he’d been wanting, the two events were in no way connected.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tucker Foley can and will hack into anything he can find. 
> 
> I know the show came out before iPhones were a thing, so I'm kind of working on the basis that the ones in this story are early iPhones like 3gs or something. I also know nothing about any of the terminology, so if you are an expert and I got it horribly wrong, then sorry. To be honest, I know virtually nothing about iPhones. I still can't work mine after four years of having it.


	7. Hypotheses, time travel and coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny really likes coffee.

Danny liked coffee. Coffee was the reason he got up in the morning. Coffee was pretty much the only reason he was alive at this point.

They didn’t have any coffee.

“Sam!” he called, trying not to make his voice too whiney, and completely failing.

“What?” his girlfriend shouted. “I’m sleeping!”

“We’re out of coffee.”

He heard stomps and thumps, followed by the unmistakable sound of Sam’s combat boots in the hallway. She was still half asleep and she looked terrifying.

She marched right up to him and glared, looking very intimidating despite the fact that he was at least a foot taller than her.

“I am trying to sleep.” She growled. “You’re the one who went shopping last, you’re the one who didn’t buy coffee and you’re the one who has that stupidly early class on a Saturday morning. You can get your own damn coffee.”

He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“I guess I could go to Starbucks on the way to class.”

“And could you not have figured that out without waking me up?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“God.” She sighed. “I need coffee.”

Danny chuckled, picking up his keys to their shared apartment and grabbing his bag. “Same. Love you.”

“Love you too. But you’re an idiot.”

“Oh I know.” He replied smiling. “See you later.”

He walked along the street about as happily as he could without the caffeine in his system. When he spotted the Starbucks on the street corner, he accelerated and soon he had a mediocre black coffee with an extra caffeine shot. He inhaled the bitter smell with relief.

It wasn’t that he regretted taking the course on astrophysics that would hopefully give him a better chance of getting into NASA’s astronaut programme. It was just that he hated waking up early on the weekend, and the class started at seven in the morning. That and the fact that Sam’s shift at the local vegan café took up at least half the day, and the other half by her environmental studies class. Oh, shit, and he had a shift at the bar this evening. That would interfere with his ‘spending time with Sam’ time.

He was also helping out with ectobiology classes, acting as an assistant/ professor when the actual professor got out of her depth.

He passed a couple of kids on the street who stared at him and giggled. He sighed and went back to take a selfie with them. It was nice having his identity out in the open, but fans could be annoying.

He made it to his class with a couple of seconds to spare and sat down near the back of the lecture hall where he could hopefully go unnoticed. Obviously this didn’t work, but he got less attention than he would have otherwise.

He was walking back along the street to go and do the grocery shopping and get a bag of coffee for the apartment when a huge portal opened in the middle of the street.

Danny blinked for a second, then carried on walking.

He supposed that it probably should have fazed him more than it did, but at this point, barely anything fazed him. It was the screams that made him think that he should probably go and check it out, but even then he hesitated, just wanting to go to the store and then go home and sleep.

He deliberated for a little before his hero complex took over and he trudged back to the portal.

It was pretty average as portals go – green and whirling and generally mystical. He had seen better. He had seen better in his parent’s basement.

He was quite happily pulling frozen people out of the way and working up to closing the damn thing when he got pulled in, which was inconvenient to say the least.

It was then he realised what a strange portal it was, because instead of going straight through to whatever was on the other side – the ghost zone, he presumed – he fell. It was like a tunnel, but a really nauseating one that made you feel dizzy. Danny, who didn’t get dizzy easily, was confused.

He was deposited in a lump on a bit of pavement somewhere that definitely wasn’t the high street he was on.

This was fine.

He looked around him and blanched, recognising the turrets of Casper high school and the surrounding houses.

Why the hell was he back in Amity Park?

Confused and aching, he got up and glanced at the school. It looked different. All the ghost shields and other safety measures that had been put in place after the disasteriod were gone and the old football field was still there. That field had been destroyed in a ghost attack years ago and they’d used it as an excuse to spend all the school’s funding on a new and better one on the other side of the school.

This was all wrong.

God, Danny needed more coffee.

He jumped slightly as the bell rang and gulped as the students started filing out of the school. Even though it was like eleven in the morning. What the hell?

He checked his watch. The watch had stopped, the glaring numbers from a couple of minutes earlier flashing on the screen.

Maybe he should have gone with analogue as Sam suggested.

Danny was confused, but at least he was still sane. At least he hadn’t completely lost his mind.

He thought that until he saw three kids come out of the school, chattering and a thermos in hand.

“I’m hallucinating.” He muttered to himself. “I’ve got to be.” Because right there in front of his eyes, was himself, Sam and Tucker.

Not that Sam and Tucker weren’t a normal thing to see. He and Sam lived together, and they tried to meet up with Tucker at least once every month. It was just, they looked young. Like scrawny and all legs and chubby cheeks young. And he was there with them, which made no sense because he was the one seeing them.

Danny would have fainted there and then if he hadn’t been so used to confusing time shit. He was a battle-hardened warrior, he didn’t faint. Instead, he simply called Clockwork as many creative names as his brain could think of.

If only he could punch the guy.

He had by now deduced that there was probably some confusing time shit going on, and he decided that the best course of action was to find the three kids and talk to them. Hopefully they would be able to help him get home, or at least into the ghost zone so he could get to frostbite and the infimap.

Of course, he didn’t want to look like some creepy stalker, so he followed them at a distance, ensuring that he kept out of sight. He completely forgot about his own ghost sense.

The younger Danny started, and that little blue wisp came out of his mouth. Danny cursed.

“Who’s there?” the kid shouted. “Skulker?”

Danny shrugged his shoulders and sighed, figuring he had no choice but to reveal himself. He stepped out into the light. “Uh, hi.” He said, waving his hand and hoping the bags under his eyes weren’t too prominent – the joys of being a college student.

Sam’s narrowed eyes widened, and Tucker clutched onto her shoulder.

“Who are you?” mini Danny asked, firing up two ectoblasts. They danced there for a few seconds then flickered out. “Damn it.” He muttered.

Danny watched the scene and tried to stop himself from giggling.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he said, gesturing to himself, NASA t shirt, frayed jeans and all.

“Well, yeah.” The younger him admitted, “But also kind of impossible, so who are you?”

“Well let’s see.” Said Danny, who was getting rather annoyed with his younger self’s idiocy. “I’m not Vlad, I’m not Skulker, I’m not… what’s his name? that shapeshifter…”

“Uh…”

“Amorpho! I’m not that guy.’

“Who?”

“Oh my god, how far back am I? have you guys even met Skulker yet?”

Sam piped up, “Is he that mechanical guy with the suit?”

“That’s him.”

“We fought him the other day.” Tucker said. “I programmed my PDA to…”

“Yeah, I know. Gorilla and all that. God, you guys are just babies aren’t you. Haven’t even met Desiree. You haven’t even had an apocalypse yet!”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nope. No apocalypses here. Nothing at all life threatening or world ending. All pure wholesome fun and Uncle Vlad being a completely normal and sane human being.”

“Uh… who are you?”

Danny stared at him. “I thought I explained that. I’m you. Well sort of. I’m you in about… what, eight, nine years? I don’t know exactly.”

“So this is time travel?” Sam asked, her scepticism showing in her raised eyebrow. “That seems kind of hard to believe.”

“Oh my god! What do I have to do to prove it to you people? It’s never this hard in comics!”

“How about we go back home and interrogate you!” Tucker said. “I’ve always wanted to interrogate someone from the future.”

“Of course you have.” Sam said with an eye roll. “Ok then. Danny?”

The younger Danny looked up from where he was examining a particularly interesting bit of pavement and blinked. “Sure.”

Fenton works was just as loud and bright as the last time he visited, but instead of the parent barrier that had been there to welcome him and Jazz home from college, Maddie and Jack simply shouted a quick hello up from the lab. Young Danny yelled something down to them and led the others up the stairs. Danny himself realised it had been so long since he had walked up stairs that he just automatically phased up, which drew some strange looks from the younger kids.

They sat him down on his former bed, and while they whispered to one another, he took in the sights of his old room. The glow in the dark stars were now on the ceiling of he and Sam’s bedroom – he’d insisted when they moved in and she’d happily agreed. He’d actually missed his shelf of comics, and he hadn’t seen that PS3 since Technus had destroyed it when he was sixteen. The nostalgia flooded in.

His reminiscing was interrupted by Sam’s combat boots stamping in front of him and her glaring face.

“Ok. You’re going to answer my questions.”

“Ok?”

She gulped. “Yes. Right.”

“Right what?” he asked, smirking.

“God, you’re so annoying! Question one.”

“What’s your name?” Tucker blurted.

“Danny.” Said Danny. “Danny Fenton.”

“Right. Ok. Question two. How old are you?”

“Twenty three.”

“Jeez. Alright then. Uh, What do you do?”

“Like for a job, or what do I do with my time or what?”

“Job you idiot.” Sam growled.

“I work at a bar in the evenings, and I help out with classes sometimes. And take them. I’m studying astrophysics at college.”

“Really?” the younger him suddenly perked up. “Does that mean?”

“Astronaut? NASA? Yep. I applied to their training programme for after I finish my course, and hopefully I’ll get in, even if it’s just as a scientist for studying the ecto matter out in space. I mean, I’m pretty sure I’ll pass the physical tests, and they’ve already approached me about the whole ghost thing, and…”

“Wait a sec. People know? About Phantom?”

“Uh, yeah. Duh. The whole Disasteroid thing?”

“The what?”

“Oh god, you guys are so behind everything. This sucks. I bet I’m not even allowed to talk about all the future stuff. Thanks a lot, Clockwork!”

The questioning went on for a while longer, and the three kids began to question his sanity instead of him. Honestly, he wasn’t surprised. He was very confused, and when he was confused and out of his depth, he tended to use humour as a coping mechanism, leading to many people thinking h was insane, which may or may not be the case. He personally thought he was just in need of more coffee.

Talking of, “Do you guys have any coffee?” he asked suddenly. “It’s just, my last cup was this morning and it was from Starbucks so it was terrible, and I need more.”

“I mean, I think we have some. I don’t know how to work the coffee machine though. Or even if its working. It’s probably ectocontaminated.”

“Oh that’s fine. When I visit mom and dad, everything in the house has ectoplasm on it somewhere. And anyway, drinking ectoplasms good too. Sometimes I use it as a substitute for coffee, but only the really concentrated stuff. Nothing can beat good old caffeine.”

“You drink ectoplasm?” the kid looked a little sick.

“Yeah, it’s good for you. Maybe you should start.”

“I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

* * *

“So not that this hasn’t been fun, but do you think you could help me to get home at some point?”

“ _That’s_ what you want? I thought you just wanted coffee.”

“Well yeah. I always want coffee - it makes Sam pissed in the morning, but I also want to go home. I promised Sam I’d cook tonight and she’ll have finished her shift by now and she’ll be worrying.”

“You live with _Sam?”_

“Yeah? We’re dating, and we figured it would be cheaper to share an apartment.”

The younger Sam and Danny glanced at each other, blushed and looked away. Older Danny watched the exchange with wide and knowing eyes. “Ooh.” He said. “You’re at _that_ stage. Well, it probably won’t be long until you confess your undying love for each other as I’m about to go off to save the earth. Don’t worry, Tuck. You won’t have to watch.”

“Oh thank god.” Tucker sighed in relief. “But at least you two finally admit it. I swear, it’s like watching one of those chick flicks where the…”

“And that’s your cue to shut up.” Younger Danny said. “Come on, I’ll take you down to the lab and we can –“

“What is it?” Sam asked. She got her answer in the form of two identical steams of blue from the dannys.

“Ghost!” they said together.

“Tell you what.” Older Danny decided. “I’ll go take care of this ghost, and you go and tell your parents that there’s an older version of you that came from the future in a totally non ghost related accident and who needs to get home. Sound good? Good. Bye!”

And he transformed.

He wasn’t so different, the kids supposed. The suit had been jazzed up a little, and he was obviously taller. The biggest difference was probably the logo on his chest – a stylised D – that Sam really liked the look of, and the utility belt around his hips. Seeing their questioning glances, he explained. “Dad thought I should have an easier way of accessing equipment, so he made me the belt. Anyway, got to go. See you in ten minutes, I guess. God, I really deserve coffee after this.”  
He zoomed off out of the window, at a speed that young Danny knew he could never reach.

The three kids found Danny’s parents watching the news in interest. They sat for a bit too, watching how the older Danny easily finished off Skulker in one go and then caught some female ghost with bright blue hair and a guitar too. He was laughing his head off as he bantered with them.

“The ghost boy looks different.” Maddie observed, squinting at the screen.

“Yes. And he’s much better at fighting.” Jack added. Danny scowled. He just hadn’t had enough practice! He was great at fighting usually.

“Uh, mom, dad.” He said instead.

“Oh, hey kids.” Maddie smiled.

“Mom, hypothetically, if time travel were possible,”

“Yes?” she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Where are you going with this. Danny?”

“Well, hypothetically, if there was a future version of me in this time and he needed to get home, would you help. It’s all hypothetical, of course.”

“And hypothetically,” Sam added, “If he really liked coffee, would you hypothetically be able to get him a few mugs of coffee too?”

Maddie frowned. “Hypothetically, yes. But you kids do know that time travel doesn’t exist, right?”

“But hypothetically, if it did?”

“So where would this hypothetical future version of you be right now?” she asked, deciding to play along.

“Well he could be hypothetically out on a convenient trip to the ah… nearest ghost fight, so I could tell you about him?”

“Right.” Maddie said. “Jack, do we have anything for kids who have gone crazy?”

“I’m not crazy I swear, mom!”

“Look, Danny. Time travel doesn’t exist. There is no possible way, hypothetical or otherwise, for a future version of you to come back to this point in time. It just can’t happen. Even if this future you walked through our door right now –“

“Danny, I’m back.”

The Fentons all turned to the door, where the older Danny had come in.

“Oh my god.”

The guy shrugged and smiled that sheepish smile of his. “Hey, mom. Do you have any coffee?”

* * *

In the end, they managed to get him back by giving him a crap ton of coffee – Maddie and Jack were worried by the amount of coffee their future son could consume – and letting him into the ghost portal, which the elder Fentons were not at all happy about, and they still didn’t understand why he needed to.

He had waved goodbye cheerfully with the hand not occupied by his coffee mug and jumped backwards into the portal as if it was a totally normal thing to do. Honestly, they didn’t even know if he had got back to his own time, and the missing mug from the kitchen was the only evidence to suggest that they hadn’t completely imagined the encounter.

Danny himself was deposited on the street by the infimap, and he quickly checked his watch which was going again. He laughed in relief, before he looked at the watch again and swore. He was at least an hour late for meeting Sam, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to be late for work too. Crap.

“You better have an explanation, Danny.” Was all Sam said when he crept into their apartment. He had tried to be quiet, but he’d dropped the keys at the door.

“Well,” he said, “Hypothetically, if I was taken back in time, what would you say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this wasn't meant to be 3000 words. My hands just wouldn't stop typing, and writing was a good excuse not to join in on our family gardening.


	8. All hail Boxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny really hates the observants.

“No.” Danny said, folding his arms and looking away. “Absolutely not.”

“Daniel, please?”

“No. Not happening.”

“Daniel, it is your right. It is your duty.”

“My duty is to protect Amity Park. Not whatever the hell this is.”

“Daniel.” The ghost in front of him closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “The ghost zone needs a ruler.”

“Get someone else to do it then.” The boy said. “Get Nocturne, or Ember. I bet she’d love it. Or Vlad. Actually, don’t get Vlad. For fucks sake, even the Box Ghost would be a better option. Why do I have to do it?”

“you know as well as I do why. And no, I am not getting the box ghost to be the king of the ghosts.”

“But why does it have to be _me_?” Danny growled.

“Daniel, you defeated the previous king, so now the title falls on you.”

“Clockwork!” he groaned. “You’ve said that about a million times. I’ve already told you; I’m not doing it. Now go away and leave me alone.” He paused, glancing around the room where the observants sat. “And get those creepy eyeballs out of here, please. They’re freaking me out.”

* * *

Danny was having quite a nice time in his room with his sister. Admittedly, they were studying which wasn’t Danny’s chosen pastime, but it could have been worse. There were no ghosts to fight at the moment, and the book Lancer had set wasn’t in some Shakespearean jargon he couldn’t understand.

“So what is Jekyll’s thought process in this chapter?” Jazz asked him, holding his notes just out of reach. He could just float up and get them, but he couldn’t really be bothered.

Danny groaned and wracked his brains. “Who’s Jekyll?” he asked.

Jazz, who used to love Mr lancer’s English lessons, gasped and put her hand to her heart. “Danny!”

“What?”

“Am I allowed to disown you?”

“What did I do?”

“How do you not know who Jekyll is? The book is called Jekyll and Hyde!”

“I skimmed it!” he countered in defence. “I wasn’t really paying attention. I just know enough about that duality shit to get me through the exam.”

Jazz growled. “That ‘duality shit’ is a key theme of the book and revolutionised the way people think.”

“It just seems like a load of rubbish to me. I mean, he made a magic potion that turns him into a weird ass monster. So what? I do that.”

“Mr Hyde isn’t a ghost, Danny.” His sister sighed. “The book isn’t really about the potion. It’s about the danger of repressed evil and how every person has some evil inside of them. Especially in the strict Victorian society they lived in, where showing any kind of emotion was frowned upon, Stevenson was brave enough to try and think about this, go into the inner workings of the human brain, and if you look in chapter fifteen, you’ll see that he was using Freud’s theory of…”

“What part of I don’t care don’t you get?”

“You’re the one who asked me to help you study.”

“I didn’t realise that would mean you going all psychology on me.”

“I’m only trying to help.” She muttered. “Think of it this way. You’re you, and you would never think of doing anything evil ever, right?”

“Yeah of course. I promised I’d never…”

“Yeah, well. Dr Jekyll is you. The good, respectable hero that everyone loves.”

“Right?”

“And Dan, he’s your evil self. He’s all those horrible things that you could do. Have you ever thought about using your ghost powers for anything other than saving people?”

“No! of course not.”

“So, you’ve never given dash a quick ectoblast or made him run into a locker?” she asked. Danny looked down at the floor. “Thought so. Now, have you ever thought about going all out on someone? Doesn’t it get annoying when the Box Ghost keeps popping up and ruining your day? Or when ghost X,”

“Skulker.”

“Ok, when Skulker turns up and blasts you out of the sky. Haven’t you ever thought about going just a little further with them? Hurting them just a bit more. Maybe you keep them in the thermos a day or so longer than you need to, or power up that ectoblast a little too much. That’s your aggression, or your evil side coming through. I know you’d never turn properly evil after seeing Dan, but there is always the possibility.”

“Jazz,” her brother interrupted. “Not that this isn’t nice, but I really hate talking about this. You know, traumatic memories, whole family dying?”

“My point is,” she continued, ignorant to her brother’s discomfort, “That’s what Jekyll is going through. Mr Hyde is a way for him to let go of all that aggression and repressed feelings without it impacting on his… let’s say his human half. I know you love it when you get into a good fight as Phantom.”

“You’re saying I’m this Jekyll dude?”

“I’m giving you an analogy and helping you compare the book’s events to your real life situation so you can understand it better.”

“No wonder you got into Harvard.” Danny murmured. “You’re stupidly smart.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

She was about to say something else, when she noticed the blue steam coming from her brother. “Who is it?” she asked, digging for the thermos in her bag.

Danny didn’t appear to be very panicked, so she stuffed the thermos away and raised an eyebrow instead. In fact, he was more frustrated than panicked, she noticed.

“Will you leave me alone, clockwork?” he cried, hands waving in the air. “I’m not doing it, I told you.”

“Doing what?” Jazz wondered.

“Daniel, please. The ghost zone needs you.”

“The ghost zone can stuff it.” He answered. “And so can the observants.”

Next to him, Jazz’s eyes had widened, and she looked like she was wondering why the hell he wasn’t sucking this guy into a thermos.

“They won’t be happy.” Clockwork warned. “They do not take refusal well.”

“Like I said, they can stuff it. They’re literally just giant eyeballs. Who cares what they think?”

“Danny!” Jazz whispered. “Be nice to the powerful ghost who could kick your butt.”

“Thank you, Jasmine.” Clockwork beamed. “It’s nice to see that at least one of the Fenton’s has good manners, even if the other three are severely lacking.”

Jazz smiled back. “If you don’t mind sir, Danny and I were just studying. He has a big test tomorrow and…”

“I know.” Clockwork said. “I won’t stay for long. Well, I could stay forever, but I won’t. I just want to get your brother to stop being so stubborn. I know he’ll cone round eventually.”

“No!” Danny shouted. “Fuck off.”

“Danny, language!”

“I’m not being your fucking king!” he said. “Leave me alone!”

Jazz, who had been rather confused until this moment, stopped and, in a tiny voice, asked, “King?”

“Yeah.” Danny answered, rolling his eyes. “Good old clockwork here has decided that I’m the new king of the ghost zone. Honestly. You defeat one ancient evil dude and suddenly you have to be a freaking king.”

Jazz frowned, her brain working furiously. “Isn’t there some rule against minors ruling?” she asked. “Danny’s still only sixteen, and you’re trying to make him go into an alternate dimension and rule there against his will. That has to be illegal.”

“In your world, perhaps.” Clockwork admitted. “But in mine, there is no such rule. We need a king, and Danny is the only choice we have.”

“What if I… dammit, what’s the word. Abdi… abdicote?”

“Abdicate.” Jazz corrected, her eyes shining. “Yeah, what if he abdicates? You can’t make him do it then.”

“Jasmine, I am the master of time.” The ghost sighed. “I can make him do almost anything. Besides, the ghost zone is descending into chaos without a monarch. I know you cannot let innocent people get hurt when you could do something about it, Daniel.”

“My name is Danny, and I just want to sleep. And maybe pass this test as well, so leave me alone!

Clockwork, with much sighing and grumbling, left him alone.

For a day or so.

* * *

It was at lunch the next day when he tried again, catching Danny outside the canteen.

“Go away, clockwork.” The boy said, turning his back and beginning to walk away.

“Daniel!”

Danny exhaled, clenched his fists and turned to face the ghost. “You know what?” he said, gritting his teeth. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

“You will?”

“Yeah. Take me to the ghost zone. Put that stupid ring on me, crown me your stupid king. Fine.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Go on, do it.”

Clockwork rubbed his hands together in glee. “Come on then. We have work to do.”

“Wait, right now?” Danny yelped. “I meant like after school or something. I have that English test now!”

“That is a shame, isn’t it. Never mind.”

“Clockwork!”

* * *

“I hate this.”

“You look good, Daniel.”

“I look like a cosplayer. Or the Fright Knight. Why the hell have you dressed me up like the Fright Knight?”

“It is the traditional royal armour.”

“Is the cape really necessary? It weighs a ton.”

“It’s traditional.”

“Traditional my ass. Whatever happened to comfy?”

“The observants insist. Now, come on. It’s time for your crowning.”

“This sucks.”

* * *

He sat on a throne that was at least six times the size of him, and obviously meant for someone like Pariah Dark. In fact, the whole palace was kind of the wrong size for him, and it hadn’t been redecorated so there were horrible skulls everywhere and the remnants of Pariah’s reign. Danny hated it.

The observants had been talking for at least an hour now, making some speech about honour add valour and kings and tradition. Danny had tuned them out within the first two minutes. Honestly, he just wanted to go home.

“And now,” one of them said, making its way over to Danny who sat up. “I crown thee, Danny Phantom, High King of all ghosts, bearer of the Ring of Rage and the Crown of Fire. Ghostly ruler of the zone and he who walks between the worlds. Rejoice!”

All around him, ghosts cheered and whooped for their new ruler. The observant lowered the crown onto Danny’s head.

“Ah!” he yelled. “Hot! My god, that’s boiling! Get it off!”

Clockwork, next to him, chuckled. “It’s made of fire, Daniel.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” he whispered back angrily.

“It’s called the crown of fire.” He said. Danny growled.

Reaching up, he took the crown, ignoring the burns on his hands, and handed it back to the surprised observant. “Um, hi.” He said, addressing the ghosts in the room. “I, uh, this is all great, but I’m actually not gonna be your king.”

Clockwork face palmed.

“In fact, there is someone I think would do a much better job than me. So, as my first and last order as king of the zone, could the Box Ghost please come on up here?”

Murmurs broke out among the ghosts and there was some shoving as the aforementioned ghost made his way to the front.

“Boxy,” Danny said, “I’ve always admired you and your… uh… perseverance. That’s why I’m crowning you as the new king of ghosts. Um… all hail Boxy!”

There was silence for a few moments, before someone started clapping, and soon the hall was filled with cries of, “All hail!” and “Box ghost for the win!”

Danny turned to an incredulous clockwork and a murderous observant and grinned. “Sorry guys. Guess I just wasn’t cut out for the throne.”

As he flew happily away, he could make out a scream of Beware!” over the cacophony of voices.

Back in the hall, Clockwork groaned, but smiled. Everything was as it was meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore that terrible analysis of Jekyll and Hyde - it's just everything I remember from studying it in school a while ago. I really didn't intend to put it in the story.


	9. Where the world ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr Lancer can't think of a book title - the world must be ending.

Mr Lancer is someone who likes to remain calm at all times. He has to in his job, being a role model for all his students to look up to, not that they do. He can’t understand why.

Anyway, the point is, he’s calm. The world is going to chaos around him and he’s calmly escorting high school kids down a corridor to the school’s football field/ ghost attack meeting point.

When he says that the world is ending, he really means that the ghost attack has been going on rather too long. Usually, Danny Phantom has finished it off by now, sucked it into his thermos thing and left to do whatever he does when he’s not fighting ghosts.

Honestly, Lancer just wants to get out of here and back to teaching his lesson because he’d rather deal with a load of bored tenth graders than a load of screaming ones. Paulina is the loudest at the moment, although Kwan is a close second and followed not far behind by dash. Danny Fenton and his two minions aren’t here at the moment, and by now, Lancer has given up on trying to find them. Technically he’s supposed to be taking a register of the kids in his homeroom class, but the sheet of paper got blown up in a stray ectoblast, and it’s not like they don’t know how to handle themselves in a ghost attack anyway. Lancer doesn’t say this out loud, because he would probably get fired if he did. Ishiyama’s already giving him the stink eye – apparently she’s noticed that Fenton, Manson and Foley are gone too. He shrugs at her and she glares back.

When Phantom brings out his huge scream attack (Lancer’s heard Foley call it a ‘ghostly wail’ which is just ridiculous), he begins to get slightly less calm. When the ghost, who they haven’t seen before, is completely unfazed by said wail, he begins to sweat. When Phantom is sent hurtling into the bleachers outside at a hundred miles an hour, he begins to panic.

“Holy …” and then his world goes to the dogs, because he can’t think of a book title.

Mr Lancer is famous for his book title exclamations, which the students like to make fun of for some reason. He always has one. Always. Usually, they’re cleverly linked to the situation as well – something he’s quite proud of – and they never fail. His brain has never failed him before and if it is now, then the world really must be ending.

“Hey, Mr Lancer?” Mikey says, noting his pale face covered with a thin sheen of sweat. “You okay? You need water or something?”

“Yeah.” Someone else comments. “You’re usually quoting Shakespeare by now.”

Lancer just shakes his head politely and turns away from Mikey, who shrugs. His heart is beating a jig in his chest, and he’s completely unable to process the thought that he can’t think of a book. He doesn’t know how to function when he doesn’t have books to keep him grounded. He always gets teased for his refusal to swear – always has been – but he finds that his titles have so much more meaning to them. He can really get his feelings across with _hitchhikers guide to the galaxy_ in a way that ‘fuck’ just won’t do. Lancer always has a book. If he can’t think of one, the world is really ending.

* * *

The world is ending.

Danny grits his teeth and focuses on another attack to launch at the ghost. She’s not giving up and none of the stuff he’s doing is affecting her at all. He’s tried everything from an ectoblast to his wail, and nothing’s worked. The closest he’s come to landing a hit is probably the mini blizzard he conjured up a while ago, but that drained most of his energy and he’s almost empty now. He glances down at Sam and tuck who are positioned near the football posts, thermoses at the ready. He just has to get her there.

“You cannot defeat me!” she laughs. “I am all powerful! I am omniscient! I am all knowing! I am…”  
“I get it, you’re powerful.” Danny shouts. “Any chance you could use all that knowledge to go read a book or something instead of beating me up?”

“I’m all knowing. I don’t need to read a book.” She points out, pausing in her barrage for just long enough for Danny to catch his breath and power up a blast to send her nearer the posts.

“Good point.” He admits. “but what if there was a book you didn’t know about?”

“Not possible.”

“But if there was?”

It’s worth noting that, while he’s doing his best to keep her talking, he’s also bombarding her with blasts of ectoplasm and ice and he’s also getting really, really tired. He almost cries in relief when he sees Sam and tuck by the posts.

The huge swirling portal in the sky and the lightning that goes with said portal is also worth mentioning. Danny’s hoping that it’ll go away with the ghost, because if it doesn’t, he’ll have to pretend he knows how to get rid of it.

He hates apocalypses.

The all knowing and all powerful ghost is so distracted by the idea of a book she hasn’t read – Danny’s journal which he totally doesn’t own – that her omniscient nature fails her and she doesn’t see the two bright beams of light. She’s sucked into Sam’s thermos and Danny collapses on the ground, completely exhausted.

“Danny!” his friends rush over and do their obligatory ‘you ok’s. After he’s reassured them that he’s not completely dead, – he only feels like it – they all peer up at the giant portal in the sky which is definitely still there.

“Can the world just stop ending for like a day?” Tucker wonders, doing something on his PDA which will hopefully help them. When Danny risks a glance on the screen, he sees space raiders.

“Nah, it hates us too much for that.” Sam says. Her arm is cut pretty badly, and she should probably get medical attention.

Danny hates it when his friends get hurt. He may have magical ghost accelerated healing and all that jazz, but Sam and Tucker don’t. the number of times they’ve gotten hurt because of his own stupidity and he’s been worried sick while they’re in hospital. When Jazz gets hurt its worse, because he’s good at hiding his own injuries and they’re usually gone in a couple of hours anyway. Jazz is terrible at hiding anything and Danny’s pretty sure their parents have noticed her plethora of scratches and scars from ghost hunting. Actually, he thinks mom and dad might have sat down with her at some point, giving her a talk about keeping safe and not getting killed, but they’re so proud of their little Jazzypants, taking up her parent’s interests. Not like Danny. He wants nothing to do with ghost hunting.

Danny actually snorts at the thought, although there is some truth behind it. He’s sure that if he didn’t have his stupid protection obsession and his stupid ghost powers, he would be quite happy keeping out of whatever madness his parents got themselves into.

As it was, he had a world to save. Again.

He takes the bottle of pure ectoplasm Sam shoves into his hands and takes a long swig. It took him a while to get used to drinking the stuff, because it’s like what all ghosts are made up of and it’s kind of disgusting, but he recognises that he needs it, and its effects are amazing. With just half a bottle, he’s already feeling his energy seeping back into him, and he feels ready to take on the world. Or maybe just the box ghost. He does have a horrible sharp pain in his chest which he thinks might be a broken rib, and his leg is at an odd angle.

“So. Anyone have any idea how to stop that giant portal thing?” Sam asks, crudely bandaging her arm and wincing at every wrap.

“As far as I can tell, it should just close naturally at some point. It’s not really dangerous, and I don’t even know if it’s connected to that all knowing chick. I mean, the ecto levels are pretty damn high, but I’m fairly sure it’s just a natural portal to the ghost zone.” Tucker responds. He’s flicking around on his PDA and finally doing something that doesn’t look like video games. “Don’t know when it’ll close though. You might want to do some damage control, Danny. Make sure people don’t panic.”

“Cause I’m totally in the condition to do that.” Danny points out, gesturing to his mangled body. “Hey guys, look at the hero with the broken leg who can’t even stay in the air! Just ignore the big ass portal above your heads. Nothing to be afraid of. Just a portal into another dimension. Absolutely normal!”

“That… is a fair point.” Sam says. “But you do have to tell them something. After all, don’t you want to get back to that _riveting_ English lesson with Lancer?”

Danny stares at her, knowing she’s being sarcastic but still unable to quip back. “What sort of question is that?” he asks incredulously. “Are you being serious?”

“When I sound enthusiastic, that’s generally a sign that I’m being sarcastic.” She says with total enthusiasm. “Work it out for yourself.”

“I bet Lancer’s wondering where we are.” Tucker says thoughtfully. “Poor guy will be worrying his Danny Phantom boxers off about us.”

Danny shudders. “first of all, ew. Second, he doesn’t even care anymore. He’s so used to us sneaking off. Third of all, ew.”

“Honestly, that’s fair.”

* * *

As it is, Mr Lancer actually is worrying about the three kids. The ghost fight is over and done with – they should be back by now. Lancer has come up with the theory that they have something to do with the ghost fights, whether they are actually involved in the fighting, or they’re just helping Phantom. There are millions of pictures of Manson and Foley with the ghost, and they’re often seen with those strange thermoses made by Daniel’s parents.

He’s not quite sure where Daniel fits into the equation though. He’s never seen with Phantom, but he’s never seen apart from Tucker and Sam.

Lancer doesn’t really have the brain capacity to think about that issue anymore. He has a load of panicked kids to deal with. He wonders, not for the first time, if they should get some sort of therapist in school to deal with trauma from the constant attacks. They can’t be good for kids’ brains and mental development.

“Citizens!” Lancer looks up to see a rather beaten Danny Phantom floating over the playing field. The ghost shouts, “Everything is fine. I know there’s a portal in the sky, but that’s totally normal and it will go away at some point. Nothing to worry about. Have a nice day, and stay in school, kids!”

From prior experience, Lancer chooses to take Phantom’s words to heart and ignore what his eyes can see.

He still can’t think of a book title so he’s pretty sure the apocalypse is still going on, but if Phantom says it’s over, then it’s probably over.

He escorts the kids back to their English classroom and takes relief in seeing the familiar walls dotted with book covers. Danny, Sam and Tucker have joined them at some point, albeit looking very worn out… and is Danny limping? He’ll have to keep him after class and ask him if he’s alright. Maybe give him a nurse’s pass.

“Well” he hears the boy say to his friends. “I guess this is where the world ends… again.”

Lancer promptly collapses on his seat. _Where the world ends_ – of course! He’s going to ignore the ‘again’ bit, just like he ignores every slightly disturbing thing about Danny Fenton. Maybe one day, he’ll find out what the hell Daniel is hiding. Then again, maybe he won’t.

It all depends on whether the author can be bothered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As that last sentence suggests, I may do a Lancer reveal at some point, and he may even get a first name. 
> 
> Just out of interest, do you guys like these ones in the present tense, or do you prefer them written in the past?


	10. Wish you were here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny gets stuck in a hell dimension and sends postcards to his loved ones.

Danny wasn’t quite sure how he had ended up here, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to make the most of it. He sat up, rubbing his jumpsuit down and checking himself over for bruises. There were quite a few, but they’d be gone in a few minutes; no serious injuries to worry about.

He looked about him with interest, taking in the crimson cliffs and huge lakes of spitting lava. Great slashes ran across the ground, steam pouring form their depths. A blood red sky glared down at him from above, the silence of the area punctuated by screaming vultures. Actually… they looked remarkably like Vlad’s vultures. Huh.

“So I guess this is what hell looks like then.” Danny said, then felt stupid because he was the only one there. “honestly, I thought it’d be worse.”

He wondered if he was actually in hell and had somehow died for real, then figured that he was probably just in some obscure part of the ghost zone. Wasn’t that just typical?

He wandered around for a bit, taking in the sights and quickly growing sick of red. Everything here was red. His throat was dry and when he decided that singing was a good idea, it became more so. The vultures flapping around him clearly didn’t like the singing – he couldn’t think why – and he soon had to fight off a half dozen birds with very sharp beaks and talons.

He came out of that scuffle with a few more cuts than he would have liked.

He tried to work out how to get out of this place, but that proved difficult. He had no idea how he’d got here, and there was no obvious way out, and a more thorough look showed no hidden path either.

Around an hour into his exploration of hell, Danny came across a river of fire. By this time, he was completely parched, and was in desperate need of liquid.

Danny Fenton was not known as an idiot for nothing.

He remembered a story Lancer once told him in a lesson on Greek mythology, where one could drink out of the fiery river Acheron and be instantly healed. Danny thought this was a good idea.

Danny was wrong.

He trudged miserably back to where he had com from, throat burning and hair singed.

On the plus side, there had been some sort of red algae on the river bank that had been somewhat edible, although they had neither looked nor tasted it. That meant Danny wasn’t going to die of starvation any time soon, which was probably a good thing. He had also found a way of making water from the steam that rose from the cracks in the ground using his ice powers to condense it and then creating a crude container from ectoplasm.

* * *

As he set up a make shift tent out of his human t shirt and a few dead branches he found on the ground, Danny sighed. He supposed he should find some way to contact his friends and tell them that he was, for the most part, fine, but could they please come and pick him up at the earliest possible time.

His phone was out of battery and he doubted there would have been any service anyway, so that was out of the question. He settled for finding a piece of bark on the ground and scratching out his message on there. He figured the vultures could pass as delivery pigeons if they ever stopped trying to kill him.

* * *

_Sam, Tucker, Jazz,_

_Hi. Um… I’m writing from… well I have no idea where I am. Hell, I guess. Or some weird hell dimension somewhere in the ghost zone. I was just flying along and suddenly, BAM! I’m on the ground and everything’s red. I hate red._

_I’m fine. I know you don’t like me saying that, Sam, but I am actually fine. No half life threatening injuries, no evil ghosts, just enough food to survive. All good. Got water too._

_Anyway, as I said, no idea how I got here, no idea how I’m getting back, but I’ll be fine I guess. I’ve never not been fine before._

_I’m getting pretty bored out here, and yes, Jazz. I have only been here for a few hours. So what? I bet you’ll want to psychoanalyse me when I get back. Make sure my innocent youthful brain hasn’t been damaged by traumatic events. Just kidding. I love you really._

_Hey, Tucker, Sam, can you two keep my doomed high score? Preferably Sam. Hate to say it, dude, but she’s better than you. Make sure Wes fucking Weston doesn’t beat me. I know he wants to. Dickhead._

_Anyway, I literally can’t think of anything to say that isn’t complaining about the colour red, so I’m gonna stop writing now._

_Uh, how are you supposed to end these things?_

_Bye? Danny. ~~Xxx~~_

* * *

He ended his writing with a flourish and dropped the bark on the floor. Hey, while he was at it, why not write one to his parents as well?

* * *

_Dear mom and dad,_

_I haven’t been kidnapped, I haven’t run away, and there are NO GHOSTS involved at all. I am absolutely fine. I’m just taking a break. I guess I could tell you I’m staying at Sam or tuckers, but then you’d check and find out id been lying which would be annoying. So, no I’m not at their houses. Honestly, I’m not sure where I am, but I’m fine. I swear I’m totally fine. No need at all to worry and definitely no need to come looking for me._

_Also, please don’t get the RV out and put that stupid picture of me on the window. And no siren. Please._

_Anyway, that’s all I have to say. See you soon ~~I hope~~ definitely. Absolutely. _

_Love you, Danny._

_P.S. THERE ARE NO GHOSTS I SWEAR!_

* * *

He smiled. Hopefully his parents would take that at face value and not go all out looking for him. Hopefully.

Danny sat for a bit, then realised he really rather liked writing his postcards. He reached down for another piece of bark. 

* * *

_Hey, Red… Val… whatever._

_Thought I’d write you this since I care about you so much. You’ll be glad to know I’m stuck in a hell dimension in the ghost zone. I can just imagine you having an impromptu party right now as you read this. Yay! Phantom’s gone! Now the town can get overrun with ghost in peace!_

_Anyway, yeah. Hell’s pretty great not gonna lie. The food here is five star and its got such a great colour scheme._

_If you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic, then you’re an idiot… which you are actually, since you wont understand that Cujo WASN’T MY DOG GODDAMMIT! Get that through your thick helmet!_

_How’s school going for you? Mr Lancer setting really interesting homework? Don’t think I haven’t seen you doing it between ghost fights. I read Animal Farm over your shoulder once. Surprised you didn’t hear me crying when Boxer died. That horse deserved better._

_I’ve got nothing to read here. I’m bored._

_Actually, I bet you’ve got better things to do than read this. Say hi to the box ghost for me._

_Love, Phantom. Xox_

* * *

Danny smirked as he signed Valerie’s letter; she would be livid. Now, for his other archenemy.

* * *

_My dearest fruitloop,_

_Greetings from hell – wish you were here! It’s really amazing. Perhaps not the billionaire life you’re used to, but I really think you’d love it._

_Now, I bet you’re thinking that now I’m gone for a bit, you can take over amity park or kill my dad or something. Ha, think again. Sam Manson will be very happy to sue your ass and is perfectly capable of it. Plus, I’m pretty sure you can’t afford to lose that investment her parents just put into your bank._

_What is it you always say? Check and mate? Yeah that. Honestly I don’t get your weird ass chess puns. You’re seriously sad, Vlad._

_How’s Maddie the cat? Filling the void? Is she the companion you’ve always wanted? I always knew deep down that you were just one of those middle aged weirdos who spend all day inside with their cat. Or maybe you’re one of those crazy cat ladies – you know, like old Mrs Baker next door to me? Gotta say, her cats are better than yours. Much cuddlier. She always lets me come round and pet them._

_Oh by the way, Danni says hi. Or at least, she did the last time I saw her. She’s kind of gone off the radar. I think she’s in New Zealand or something at the moment. Not sure._

_Did the packers win their last game? I would have watched it, but you know. Stuck in a hell dimension and all that. Not much I can do about it._

_I heard that they’re streaming cats the musical on YouTube later this week. You should watch it; its perfect for you._

_Anyway, like I said, wish you were here, and can’t wait to see you again so I can kick your ass._

_Your little badger (not), Danny Fenton._

_P.S: I’ve enclosed a little present for you too. Hope you like blood blossoms. They have a lovely smell._

* * *

Danny put down his stylus, content with his letters. He was sure Vlad would appreciate the little present he put in too.

With that happy thought, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Far away in yet another dimension, this one slightly more familiar, Vlad masters was having a brief episode of agony. Once he had finished dying, he threw his hands up in the air and screamed for a while. A few minutes straight of good healthy screaming. He hadn’t done it in a while, thinking himself above the practice now that he was a mature fifty year old billionaire, but damn did it feel good.

Unfortunately, the effects of the blood blossoms hadn’t quite worn off, and so the screaming resulted in his throat flaring up with pain.

He took a swig of water and washed it down with a sip of ectoplasm from the bottle he kept by his computer.

“Why, Maddie?” he lamented. “Why is Daniel like this? All I want to do is kill his father, marry his mom and adopt him! Is that really so hard? Life is so unfair sometimes. All I do is good, and this is where it gets me.”

Maddie mewed and leapt out of his arms and onto the floor. She slunk away out of the door, leaving Vlad rather despondent.

* * *

Across the town, two teenagers were sitting at a computer, eyes glued to the screen and laughing their heads off.

“I can’t believe you managed to hack Vlad’s webcam!” Sam wheezed. “This is pure gold!”

“Agreed.” Tucker returned, clasping his side and unable to do anything but rock back and forth.

“Should we be worried about Danny?” the girl pondered, eyes wandering from the screen.

Tucker stopped laughing, thought about it for a second, and shook his head. “Ah, he’ll be fine. Let’ just keep watching Vlad be an idiot.”

“No arguments here.” Sam grinned.

* * *


	11. Danny? Dani? who knows.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani Phantom is on a mission to cause chaos.

Dani Phantom was on a mission. Well, it was more of a ‘I really want to fuck shit up’ kind of situation, but it might as well have been a mission.

She had been working on the finer details for a while, making sure everything was in place and ready. She measured herself every day for a month and cut her hair short specially. She had tried to get it as close as possible to Danny’s choppy cut, although it was quite difficult when all she had were a pair of kitchen scissors she had stolen from someone’s kitchen. She had every intention of returning them. at some point.

Now, after months and months of planning, she was ready. She had grabbed one of Danny’s shirts from his closet when he was at school along with a pair of his scruffy jeans. Pulling them on and grimacing when the jeans were just a little too long, she surveyed herself in her clone’s mirror. Just right. She figured that Danny usually wore his pants long anyway so they wouldn’t be a problem.

Time to have some fun.

Danny would be home from school in ten minutes or so, according to the clock on the wall. Great. Just enough time for Dani to lay out that bucket of ectoplasm on his door and then go and see his parents. They would be her test subjects before she brought her mischief into the rest of the world. If they figured out she wasn’t Danny and locked her in a ghost proof cage, he would be home in no time to let her out. If they bought it, she could carry on with her plan. Dani giggled.

She went down the stairs to the lab, not bothering to tiptoe like usual. Maddie and Jack Fenton were messing around with something that looked like it could definitely kill Dani, so she steered clear of the actual machine, choosing to clear her throat instead to alert them to her presence.

It worked like a charm.

“Ghost!” Jack shouted, spinning round with an ectogun pointed right at her. Dani, who was not quite used to people pointing large guns at her, gulped.

“Jack!” Maddie scolded. “It’s Danny. Hi, honey.”

“Hi mom.” Dani said, hoping her voice sounded deep enough. She knew Danny’s hadn’t broken yet, but he was still naturally deeper than her.

“How was school?”

“Fine. You know, the usual.”

“Were there any ghosts?” Jack boomed. Dani couldn’t quite get over how loud his voice was.

“Nope. No ghosts, dad.”

It felt strange calling the Fentons ‘mom’ and ‘dad’, mostly because her only experience with parental figures was not exactly positive and she spent most of her time alone or in the ghost zone. She never had need for parents. Danny had also given her clear instructions to stay away from Maddie and Jack because they had scanners and guns and things she really didn’t want anywhere near her.

“Aaaw.” He whined. “There are never any ghosts.”

That stupid Danny Phantom fights them all. You know, Danny,” Maddie said. “We were wondering if we could you and Jazz to keep an eye out for him. You could call us and we could come and calm the situation and capture Phantom.”

“For dissection!” Jack put in happily. “We want to tear him apart molecule by molecule!”

Dani tried not to throw up right there. “That’s great.” She choked out. “I’ll call you if I see him. I’m gonna go and do my homework now. Lancer gave me loads.”

“I swear they give kids way too much homework nowadays.” Maddie muttered under her breath as Dani ran up the stairs. “They get virtually no free time.”

Dani puffed as she lay her hand on the wall. She really needed to build up stamina, she thought distantly.

Operation fool Fentons had been a success. Now it was time for operation fool Sam and Tucker. This one would be a lot harder.

She flew invisibly along the streets until she saw the trio of friends. Sam was complaining about something – her mother probably – and Tucker was cradling his PDA. Dani still didn’t understand what his obsession with that thing was. Danny himself was wandering a few paces behind. Perfect. Now all she needed was a distraction.

As if on cue, Skulker materialised in the air above. Dani quickly rushed up and turned both of them invisible, flying them out of the range of Danny’s ghost sense before he could pick up on either of them.

Skulker spluttered, revving his engines and preparing to fight whoever had attacked him.

“Whelp?” he growled. He looked at Dani properly. “You’re not the whelp.”

Dani, who had switched to her ghost form which did look different to Danny’s, grinned. “You got that right.” She said. “I’m Dani. Nice to officially meet you. I need a favour.”

Skulker looked understandably confused at her bluntness, and his gun swivelled round to point at her. “Who are you? Why do you look like the whelp? What do you want?”

She smiled sweetly at him, making him shudder. “Already said, I’m Dani Phantom. With an i.” She answered. “Plasmius cloned the Danny you know, and I’m the result. I’m playing a prank on him.”

“A prank you say?” Skulker mused. Dani nodded. “I’m in.”

“Really?”

“I’ve always wanted to pay back the whelp for all the times he’s beaten me into the ground. What do you need me to do?”

Dani grinned again. She could tell Skulker was getting excited. “Just need a distraction.” She told him. “Up for it?”

He nodded gleefully in response, flying back into town where Danny was still with Sam and Tucker.

Brilliant.

With Danny safely out of the way fighting Skulker, Dani made her way to his friends. She stayed hidden for some time, making sure it would be plausible. Danny did take some time to finish fights after all. After about ten minutes, she jumped out of her hiding place and landed on the pavement with the two teenagers.

Tucker started, dropping his PDA on the ground. “Danny!” he whined. “That was new! I could have cracked it.”

“That was quick.” Sam commented. “Skulker not feeling up to you?”

Dani shrugged. “Nah. He can’t hold a candle to me. Just took a few ectoblasts and some ice. You, know?”

Sam laughed, beginning to walk again. “Speaking as someone who doesn’t have ghost powers, no I don’t.” her eyebrows drew together. “Anyway, as I was saying before Skulker turned up, my mom bought me that new dress the other day, and it was bright pink with those little flowers she knows I hate and then when I tried to dye it black, I only got dye all over my hands because I forgot to wear gloves and the dress is still pink! It’s not even a horrible dress – it’s not got like, frills or anything. It’s just pink. It’s not fair! Then mom came in and started laughing her stupid blonde head off.”

Tucker who had been ignoring her for most part, butted in with, “Aren’t you blonde, Sam?”

“Well yeah,” she admitted, “But in case you couldn’t tell, I dye my hair because no one wants to look at something that infuriatingly bright!”

“So, what did you guys think of Lancer’s lesson today?” Dani said, getting sick of the topic of how much Sam hated her parents. “Macbeth is boring.” Danny had said they were doing Macbeth in class the last time they had spoken and she hoped that hadn’t changed.

“Dude, you weren’t even there for most of it.” Tucker pointed out.

“And you were asleep for the rest.” Sam added.

“Yeah, because it’s boring.”

Sam sighed. “I don’t know why you two hate Macbeth so much.” She said. “It’s one of the only plays we study with a strong female character who isn’t completely dependent on a man. Not that I agree with murder or anything, but you can see why she thinks what she thinks and why she wants all that power.”

“Who’s lady Macbeth?” Dani asked, getting rather interested. She might actually have to read Macbeth at some point. Power hungry character and murder? It sounded like just her sort of thing.

“Trust you not to know one of the most important characters in the play.” Sam scoffed. “Macbeth’s wife? Arguably the character who causes the pivotal moment in the play. Ring any bells?”

“Like you said, I was asleep!” Dani defended. Hopefully Danny did actually sleep through enough of it that he was just as ignorant as her. she wasn’t sure how much longer she could pretend to be Danny. Sam and Tucker were exhausting. “Hey, looks like we’re at my house. See you guys tomorrow.”

“But dude!” Tucker said. “You said you’d go to the park with us.”

Shit. “Yeah, well.” She stuttered. “Sorry, Skulker got me with one of his guns. I gotta go bandage it quickly. I’ll see if I can meet up with you later. Sorry guys.”

“You’re injured?” Sam asked, brows raising. “Let me see.”

“I can really take care of it myself!” Dani assured her. she felt sure her voice was rising again and she did her best to keep it low.

“If you’re sure, dude?”

“Yep. Totally sure. See you later!” Dani ran up the steps to the front door and phased through. Gosh, this was more stressful than fun as she had originally intended. Well, there was always time for more. She snuck out of the window as she heard Danny come in through the front door.

This time, she didn’t try to impersonate Danny again. She just hid in the pond at the park and splashed people passing by. Mostly that blonde jock that bullied Danny. His face when he got sopping wet was hilarious and she had to stifle her giggles. When she got bored of the pond, she moved on to picking up pieces of food while invisible and whistling through her teeth. She terrified a few older couples with that.

Dani didn’t have the longest attention span, and she soon grew tired of that too. Then she spotted a gaggle of high school age girls, quite possibly from Danny’s class, near the water fountain.. She grinned.

Turning visible again and checking over her clothes to make sure they were still suitably Danny like, she wandered over to them.

“Ew!” one of them – the one with the hideous pink crop top - screamed. “Loser!”

Well that was rude. Dani pushed her into the fountain.

The screaming grew louder, but it was well worth it from the look on her face. One of the other girls stepped forward to ask, “Fenton?” but Dani simply gave her a shit eating grin and pushed her in as well.

She supposed she should probably feel bad, but she was pretty sure these were the girls Danny complained about whenever they met. She didn’t have it in her to be sorry.

“Oh my god!” she gasped in mock astonishment. “Don’t know what came over me. So sorry!” with that, she pushed in the last girl in the group. Then she realised what she’d done. “Oh shit, Valerie!”

Valerie glared up at her from the fountain, hair plastered to her forehead and looking absolutely livid. “What the hell, Danny?” she spluttered. “Are you even Danny? Are you overshadowing him, ghost?”

Shit shit shit shit shit. Dani ran for it, followed by a soaking wet and angry Valerie. She decided she should probably end her fun now. She just needed to prank Danny.

Hopefully he had already found the present she left in his room, but she wanted to confuse him. On her way to Fentonworks, she thought up all the wonderful things she could do.

She rang the doorbell this time, trusting that his parents would be in the soundproof lab downstairs. Danny answered it, drawling something about his parents working before he did a double take as he saw who was at the door.

“What the hell?” he muttered. “Amorpho?”

“Who?” Dani asked.

“Come on, dude. You promised you’d stay away!” Danny said. “I really don’t want to have to fight you.”

“I’m not ‘Amorpho’!”

“Yeah right. Who else do I know who loves pranks and goes around looking like me?”

Dani giggled. “Me!” she said. “It’s me, Dani!”

“I’m Danny.” He corrected. “Go away, dude.”

“No, stupid. Dan _i._ Your clone? I cut my hair and stole your clothes. Hope you don’t mind.”

Danny facepalmed. “Of course you did. I guess that bucket of ectoplasm that I had to wash out of my hair was you as well?”

“Yep!”

“Dani! Ectoplasm’s hard to get out!”

“Oh, I know.”

“I hate you sometimes.” He groaned.

“I am basically you.” She pointed out. “How can you hate yourself?”

He grinned. “Why don’t I show you? I’m gonna take you to Klemper’s lair and leave you there. See how you like that.”

She gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.”

“Fuck you, dude.” She said. “I’m outta here.”

“Dani!” he cried, scandalised. “You’re far too young to be using that kind of language!”

“Danny, I’m you. Any and all swear words I say are your fault.”

“Shut up.” He muttered.

“You shut up.”

“No you shut up.”

She shut him up with a gag of ice, laughing at his misfortune. She absolutely did not regret making a detour to Amity Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was quite rushed and I'm not sure if I'm entirely happy with it, but I haven't written a one shot in over a month so I thought I might as well.


	12. The not so triumphant return of Vlad Masters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vlad is overjoyed to return to Earth, but Earth is not to keen on him.

As Vlad Masters speeds towards the earth at stupidly fast mph, he thinks that there is a distinct lack of a welcoming. A banner is all he’s asking for, maybe a couple of parties and bunting. Bunting would be nice.

He had envisioned people lining the streets to clap and cheer as he made his triumphant return. They would be overjoyed to see him, and they would accept him as ruler of the earth without a second thought – why wouldn’t they!

The reality is a little depressing. He loses control of his flight about twenty metres above a statue in amity park and falls the rest of the way to the ground, landing on his behind.

It hurts. A lot.

It’s then that he realises that there isn’t a statue in amity park. Why is there a statue? He glances up, taking in…

Dear god, why is there a statue of Daniel?

He’s holding up… the earth?... in one hand, smiling that infuriating goody goody hero smile of his. The one he always gives Vlad when he’s rescuing a cat that Vlad put up a tree (he was trying to be evil – couldn’t Daniel let him have that one evil moment?) or when he’s flying over the city and watching everyone cheer for him. How come Daniel gets cheering and Vlad doesn’t?

The point is, Vlad is rather shaken by the statue. It just looks wrong. He thinks it would look a lot better if it was of someone else. Someone richer, and more handsome, and more mature and someone whose name was Vlad Masters.

Vlad is starting to see what his alien therapist meant about his overinflated ego.

After recovering from the hideous depiction of Daniel, Vlad wanders down the street. He thinks he can remember where his old house is – it has been fifteen years after all – but all the houses look the same, and none of them look like his. He ends up at Fentonworks eventually, after deciding that he really has no hope of finding his home. Perhaps it has been demolished?

He knocks on the door warily, noting that the roof extensions have gotten even bigger and more ridiculous while he’s been gone. Is that a tank up on there?

He probably should feel more worried about seeing Maddie and Jack, especially given how he left them, but he figures that it’s been fifteen years and they should have forgiven him by now. He knows they’re the type of people to forgive and let go.

The door is answered by Jack Fenton, and holy fudge he looks old.

Holy fudge? Jack really did rub off on him in college.

Jack Fenton was always quite a young man in Vlad’s opinion. Of course, that might have been because he only had his own grey hair to compare it to. This Jack has grey hair. And wrinkles round his eyes from smiling too much.

The man doesn’t seem to realise that it’s him for a good two minutes, or perhaps he’s simply overwhelmed with happiness to see his old buddy. Vlad hopes it’s the former, although he doesn’t think he’s changed that much. All he’s done is cut his hair, and he hasn’t even aged that visibly. At least, he hopes he hasn’t. he hasn’t exactly looked in a mirror recently.

“Vlad?” Jack breathes, his eyes wide and hand on his heart. “Shit. What?”

“Hello, Jack!” Vlad says, infusing his voice with as much happiness as he can muster. “I don’t suppose you have a spare bed? My house appears to have been destroyed.”

To his credit, Jack doesn’t reject him immediately. He stands for a while on the doorstep, gaping at Vlad.

“Jack?” someone shouts from inside the house, “Who is it?” that must be Maddie. Oh, how good it is to hear her voice again. Vlad had almost forgotten it.

Jack scowls. “Just someone handing out leaflets!” he yells back, and shuts the door in Vlad’s face.

Well, that was rude.

Feeling rather dejected, Vlad slumps away from the Fenton’s house. He could, of course, phase in and take one of the spare bedrooms, assuming the children don’t still live at home. They must both be in their thirties now.

Gosh.

Daniel is thirty.

That’s something he needs to get his head round.

He’s not quite sure where to go after his blatant rejection, but when he sees a familiar face flying down the street, he grins and rushes over to where Danny Phantom is locked in combat with a ghost. It’s a ghost he doesn’t know, which he is more than a little surprised about, since he takes pride in knowing everyone and everything. Maybe he has been away a little too long.

Daniel does look older now, and he’s grown into his father’s height. That’s a shame. Vlad used to enjoy looking down on him, but he’s probably taller than him now.

The ghost Daniel’s fighting doesn’t look like a particularly hard one, and with a quick bit of duplication (which Daniel can apparently do now) and a few ectoblasts, it is safely in a thermos.

Vlad is thrown a little when Daniel lands on the ground and changes to human in front of all the people on the street.

“Idiot boy.” He mumbles.

Except, no one seems to be at all fazed, and they just keep on cheering. Valerie (is that Valerie? She’s cut her hair and it’s hard to tell) is smiling, even though Vlad is sure she has a huge hatred towards Phantom. Is he misremembering or has everything gone to chaos while he’s been away?

Well, whatever the case, he needs to talk to Daniel.

The moment Daniel sees him, he transforms into Phantom and gets into a fighting stance which is surprisingly good. Perhaps he’s had some martial arts lessons.

“Plasmius.” He growls.

“That wasn’t quite the welcome I was hoping for.” Vlad says, affronted. “Don’t you want to see your favourite uncle Vlad?”

Vlad is going to ignore the incredulous look that comes over Daniel’s face at that. he must be possessed. Why wouldn’t he be happy to see him?

He is answered by a punch. In the face. That hurts.

“What was that for?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Drawls Daniel. “Maybe it’s for when you decided to take over the human race? Or when you decided to avert an asteroid’s course and send it straight into the earth? Or that time you cloned me!”

“Daniel…”

“I could keep going on.” He says. “Did you seriously expect to come back to everything as you’d left it and everyone happy to see you? Seriously?”

What is he supposed to say? Daniel knows him.

“Yes?”

The boy’s head shakes, and if Vlad didn’t know better, he would say it was disappointment.

“I’ll say it again, you are one seriously crazed up fruitloop.”

Vlad, believe it or not, has missed that nickname.

“Just get in the thermos.” Danny sighs. “I’m taking you back to space. You need to see more of that therapist you got.”

“You’ve been spying on me?” Vlad realises. “You’re more like me than I thought.”

Danny shrugs. “Maybe. It was a good excuse to go to space. Get in.”

It appears that Daniel has become more mature. Well, there goes all Vlad’s plans to rile him up and ultimately defeat him.

He is sucked inside the Fenton thermos and he doesn’t even scream.

Thinking about it cramped in that tiny thermos, space doesn’t sound so bad. He is obviously way too amazing for the Earth now. He’s outgrown it.Maybe he can drift further afield and expand his one tiny planet empire.

When he says planet, Vlad means an uninhabited meteor, but he will have a planet one day! Maybe he’ll go for Pluto?

“Pluto’s not a planet anymore.” Daniel’s voice comes from outside the thermos. “Sorry, Vlad.”


	13. Danny doesn't sulk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sam is tall; Danny and Tucker are not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Projecting my height problems onto fictional characters? Never!

When they came back to their sophomore year after summer, Danny was dreading it. It wasn’t the school work or the early mornings (although obviously he wasn’t exactly looking forward to those); it was his friends.

He hadn’t seen Sam and Tucker all summer since his parents had dragged him and Jazz off to some ghost hunting convention full of weirdos just like them, and he had to pretend he wasn’t a ghost.

He had read all those puberty books Jazz gave him when he turned thirteen, and nearly all of them said he was supposed to have a growth spurt at around fifteen. Danny had yet to have his growth spurt. He had always been small, but now it was getting ridiculous. His mom had tried to console him, saying he’d got her genes, but surely, with his dad being the height that he was, Danny would have gotten a little bit of that too? Jazz was tall! She’d stopped growing a couple of months ago and stood at a respectable 5’8. Danny hadn’t even hit 5’7.

He felt sure that Dash would tease him mercilessly. Scratch that: Mikey would tease him. Valerie would laugh her head off, and Sam…

Here he stopped, because he had caught sight of a dark head in front of him.

Sam had taken down her ponytail this year, replacing it with a spider clip pulling her bangs back. She looked good. She looked tall. Taller than Danny.

Danny was not sulking.

Not at all.

She had turned around and waved at him, and he vaguely registered that she was asking him about his summer. He muttered something about ghosts and stupid parents, still trying to take in the fact that Sam was taller than him. She had not been taller three months ago.

It wasn’t fair.

“You’ve grown.” He said, interrupting her speech about her mother.

She raised her eyebrow. ”Yeah? People do that.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “But you’re really tall. Like really tall.”

Sam laughed. Since when did Sam laugh? “You know my parents are tall. And before she was in a wheelchair all the time, my grandma was one of the tallest women around. It’s in my family’s genes.”

Danny scowled. “It’s in my family’s genes too, but I don’t see me getting any of them.”

“Oh my god.” She gasped. “Are you upset? Because you’re small? Oh my god.”

“What?”

“You’re an idiot sometimes, Danny. No one cares if you’re small. Besides, males don’t stop growing until they’re eighteen. Just be glad you’re not a girl. This is about as tall as I’m going to get.”

“I bet Dash’ll care.”

“Well Dash can stuff it. If he tries to bully you, I have a Fenton blaster in my bag. And you have literal ghost powers. Honestly, I don’t know why you’re complaining.” Sam pointed out. “Stop sulking and tell me about any new weapons we need to look out for.”

Danny smiled in spite of himself. Sam’s bluntness never failed to cheer him up. “There is always the Fenton tank launcher.” He said. “It’s supposed to launch mini tanks that grow when they hit the ground, but my mom hasn’t got the tech right, and my dad keeps trying to update the Fenton crammer instead.”

Sam giggled. “Wouldn’t they kind of use the same technology though? You could use the opposite of whatever makes the crammer… cram stuff... and put it on the tank thing.”

“God, that’s good. Don’t tell my parents that.”

“Don’t worry. There won’t be any tanks for you anytime soon.” She assured him. “I don’t want to have to patch you up after you’ve gotten yourself run over.”

“Aaand the love birds are at it again!” sang a voice from behind them. “Can you two contain yourselves after a whole summer apart?”

Sam growled low in her throat. “Hey Danny?” she said, “Would your parents blasters work on humans?”

Danny burst into laughter, ignoring Tucker Foley’s panicked jump back when Sam mentioned blasters. “Sorry, Sam. They don’t. But, you know, a paper aeroplane would do just as well.”

“Excuse me!” Tucker interrupted, sounding rather put out. “Could we stop talking about how I’m going to die? We’re only five minutes into the year.”

“Ugh.” Sam groaned. “Have it your way. I want to arrange your death by the end of the week though.”

“Deal.”

Their hands shook, and Danny pretended he wasn’t very confused at his two friends. They had a strange tendency to compete for the best death ever since Danny died himself. He supposed he should probably be more concerned about them than he was.

It was then that Danny really looked at Tucker. Tucker was tiny.

Danny thought he was short, but Tucker made him feel a lot better about himself. The boy couldn’t be more than 5’5, and he was still firmly fixated on his PDA.

Sam seemed to have noticed Tucker’s height as well. She grinned, putting her arm on his shoulder and relaxing.

“Hey!” he started. “What are you…? Are you using me as an armrest, Sam?”

“Maybe.” She hummed. “Maybe not. You’ll never know.”

“Sam!”

“What? I’m not doing anything! Right, Danny?”

He smirked at his friend, offering the unfortunate Tucker no support. “Right. Sorry, Tuck. Nothing I can do.”

“Danny!” he groaned. “Us shorties stick together! We need to drive out the infestation of tall people, starting with her!”

Danny shook his head, still laughing. “Usually I would agree, Tuck, but right now I’m just happy that there’s someone smaller than me. Sorry.”

Tucker huffed, folded his arms and walked away. “Sorry doesn’t cut it. You’ve broken our friendship, dude.” He paused, looking back, “Farewell.” And walked off into the interweaving students in the corridor.

“He’ll be back by lunch.” Sam told him.

“Oh, I know.”


	14. This is halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dash Baxter had the best costume this year... until he didn't.

Dash Baxter was going to have the best Halloween costume ever. He would admit, it wasn’t overly original, but he’d ordered the material specially off the internet, and gotten his cousin who ran a tailor shop to make it for him. They had raised an eyebrow when he’d shown them the sketches, but they’d done it. Now, Dash had the most awesomest costume in amity park. was awesomest a word? Dash wasn’t sure; he was failing English.

He stood in front of his mirror, preening at his reflection. He’d gotten a cheap wig as well, then taken some scissors and chopped until it looked perfect. He had wanted to dye his hair to make it more authentic, but his mom wouldn’t let him and it was too short anyway.

The black material of his costume worked with the white boots and he had drawn his own little DP symbol to go on his chest. Not to brag or anything, but he looked awesome. He looked just like Danny Phantom, if Phantom was taller and more muscular and generally better looking. In Dash’s opinion anyway.

Although there would undoubtedly be a lot of Phantom costumes tonight, Dash was sure that his would be the best.

He was meant to be going to a party tonight, and his girlfriend had agreed to coordinate their outfits. Paulina was going to go as that female Phantom who had turned up recently. There was a lot of controversy about who she was: some said a girlfriend, some said a sister or a cousin. Some people thought she was the result of a cloning gone wrong. ‘some people’ was Wes Weston the mad conspiracy theorist, and no one believed him. Whatever the case, Dash had gotten his reluctant cousin to make a Dani Phantom costume in just Paulina’s size and she, while mourning the loss of her zombie princess look, agreed that they would make a fantastic statement together. 

Dash raced downstairs once he was content with his fabulous appearance, ignored his parents disapproving looks, and rushed out of the door, only stopping to grab his roll of toilet paper from the counter. Parties were great, but trick or treating came first.

An hour later, he’d made his way down most of the houses on his street, and was moving onto the one round the corner, when he caught the neon flashing of Fentonworks out of the corner of his eye. Dash grinned. What he wouldn’t give to prank Fenton and his weirdo family. Maybe he could pretend to be the real Phantom and scare the living daylights out of Fentoad who was notoriously scared of the ghost for some reason. Yeah. That would be great.

He reached the Fentons residence soon enough, only stopping to grab candy from a couple of houses along the way, and he grimaced at the colossal glowing pumpkin they had stuck outside on the porch. Dash wasn’t sure how they had got it to glow green like that, and he didn’t want to find out. He gulped, and stepped up to ring the doorbell.

He heard thundering from somewhere in the house, and was nearly knocked off his feet by Fenton’s dad pointing a… gun… at him. Was that even legal?

“Away with you, spook!” the man boomed. “You’re not haunting us tonight! And stop coming back here! It’s the fifth time this evening!”

“Dad!” Dash glanced hopefully up to see someone else appear at the door. “It’s a costume, for the hundredth time.” The person turned to Dash and smiled apologetically. “It’s only an ectogun. It can’t hurt humans.”

The newcomer was also in a Phantom costume (a really good one actually, although Dash wouldn’t admit it.)

“You never know.” Mr Fenton growled. “Spooks are sneaky.”

The Phantom groaned, hiding his head in his hands. “Dad.”

It took Dash longer than it should have to realise that this Phantom was actually Danny Fenton, and he did a double take, because the nerd looked so _real_.

“Fenton?” he whispered.

Danny looked down at him, eyeing his uneven wig. “Dash?”

“Uh…”

“Oh my god. Right.” He disappeared again for a second, as if into thin air, then came back with a bag full of candy. “Take some and go.” Danny told him. “Seriously, go. My mom will be out soon, and she’s even less tolerant of Phantom costumes than dad is.”

Dash had to raise an eyebrow at that, because Danny evidently hadn’t looked in the mirror lately.

“I know.” He admitted. “I had to talk them into it. Took forever. Now please, go. You can beat me up or whatever tomorrow, but go away.”

Dash took the candy and left.

On his way home, he thought he saw some other wannabe phantoms, but none of them came close to his costume. No one but Fenton. Dash was still reeling over the encounter. Danny’s suit had looked so real. It had the ethereal glow that the real Phantom’s did, and his hair seemed to defy gravity in the same way that the ghosts did all the time. Not only that, but either Danny had found an extremely good wig, or he’d bleached his own hair and dyed it pure white. For a guy with dark hair, surely that was going a bit far? He’d also put in contacts, which Dash had not been allowed to do on account of his mom being paranoid that his dad’s allergy was hereditary. Fenton’s contacts were literally glowing. They looked every bit as toxic and dangerous as Phantom.

Dash never thought he’d put Danny Fenton and dangerous in the same sentence.

Anyway, that didn’t matter right now. He could think about it when he wasn’t late to meet with Paulina. Paulina didn’t tolerate lateness any more than she tolerated acne.

She was waiting by his door when he came back, all ready to go and smiling dangerously. Dash stuck on his best grin and looped his arm through hers.

When they arrived, the party was in full swing, which was probably what Paulina was intending. She was always going on about being fashionably late. Dash certainly agreed with the fashionable bit. They looked incredible, if he didn’t say so himself.

Kwan was hosting, and he met them as they came in, fully decked out in a shirt and jeans with fake glasses perched on his face. He winked at Dash as he tugged his shirt down to reveal blue and red spandex underneath. Paulina only rolled her eyes and proclaimed superman to be old and tired.

Dash had thought he and Paulina were late, but that was nothing compared to the last group to arrive to the party. He wasn’t even sure why they were invited, but Kwan said he felt bad for them.

The trio of losers came through the door, and everyone went quiet. The music stopped, the slosh of drinks in their red cups ceased and silence reigned.

“Well.” Said Danny Fenton, still donning his extraordinarily realistic costume, with the addition of a string of glowsticks. “Let’s get this party started.”

Next to him, a wall of black with some wings that Dash could only assume was the freaky goth girl grinned. “Hell yeah. Who’s ready for shit to go down?”

Some brave soul broke the silence from the rest of the room. “What are you meant to be, Sam?”

Sam, in all her gothic glory, glared menacingly at the poor kid. “Isn’t it obvious?” she growled. The kid shook his head. Her face contorted even more. Danny giggled. “I’m a bat.” Sam finally said. “And I’m better than you.”

The kid didn’t debate that.

Once people had gotten up the courage to start talking again and someone had turned the music back on, Dash took the opportunity to survey the last member of the trio. Tucker Foley was leaning against one of Kwan’s dad’s paintings which he knew the guy would hate while talking nonchalantly to Fenton. Who was literally glowing. Dash shook his head in disbelief and focused on Foley. He was wearing what was apparently a huge computer on his head. Like, he had the screen over his eyes, then there was a hole for the mouth and nose and a keyboard pattern over his arms. Dash thought it was one of the worst Halloween costumes he had ever seen, and his sister usually dressed up as a my little pony.

Dash was sure that was everybody once the loser trio had arrived, but that theory was soon debunked when the red huntress turned up at Kwan’s door.

Dash saw her come in, and although he couldn’t see her face, he could imagine her sneering. What could the red huntress want with a party of teens? Was she here to act as the police and break it up? Was she here to get cheap alcohol?

He saw the exact moment she saw Danny, and he saw the exact moment Danny’s eyes widened as he saw her.

“Val?” he said. Dash, who was close enough to hear that, was confused. Did he mean… Valerie? Was that Valerie?

“Phantom.” The red huntress sneered. “Of course you’d be here. Infiltrating and corrupting these innocent and sensible kids.” She turned to see two of Dash’s teammates wrestling on the floor. “Ok. Maybe not sensible.”

“Val, it’s not what it looks like!” Fenton pleaded. “It’s me, Danny!”

“Yeah I know.” She said. “You give yourself that name, Phantom, but everyone knows you’re just trying to be human. Lying.”

“Val please!”

“Don’t call me that!” and the red huntress… Valerie? Launched herself at Danny Fenton.

Dash, who had been incredibly confused at that point, got even more confused when Fenton flew into the air and formed one of Phantom’s ectoshields to protect himself from a blast that Valerie shot at him. With a huge gun. That materialised from her suit.

She groaned, and fired again, forcing Fenton to put up another shield, turning invisible as he did.

All of this would be totally normal, but this was Danny Fenton, not Danny Phantom. This was all wrong!

The hunter and Fenton ended up sprawled on the floor, wrestling in much the same way as the football players had done earlier. The red huntress’s helmet thing came off at one point, and everyone gasped as Valerie Gray was revealed. She simply snarled and fought Danny with even more vigour. Fenton was obviously getting tired, and Dash could see he was trying to gradually lead Valerie outside and presumably away from the party.

Shit, Fenton really knew what he was doing, didn’t he? Like everyone else, Dash raced outside to watch the aerial fight when the two took to the air, Fenton (Phantom?) firing blasts at Valerie’s hoverboard, while she shot at him directly. It was almost mesmerising to watch, but the experience was marred by knowing that it was two of his classmates up there. That somehow, the powerful otherworldly being was nerdy Danny Fenton. The one who risked his life almost daily for their city. The one who protected them at all costs, and the one who, most importantly, had a better costume than Dash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gcses are a bitch. We have mocks in December and revising for that is basically taking away any and all motivation I have to do anything, so updates probably won't be frequent at the moment. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted to get it out on actual Halloween, but my wifi said no.


	15. T-shirts and half death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Danny had known he would die, he would have bothered to put on a clean t shirt that morning.

If Danny had known he would die, he would have bothered to put on a clean t shirt that morning. As it was, he hadn’t.

Jazz had lectured him for it, insisting he go and change, and he’d gone upstairs and sat on his bed for five minutes.

He didn’t change the t shirt. Jazz didn’t notice.

Breakfast was the same as usual, in that it was glowing. Jazz glared at their parents over the machinery on the table. Danny glared at his ectoplasmic eggs.

In the end, they managed to find a pack of bread that wasn’t ectocontaminated and ate it with butter that wasn’t quite as green as everything else in the fridge. As soon as they finished eating, Jazz shoved her chair in and announced she was going to the library. Danny stuck his tongue out at her as she slammed the door behind her.

“Your dad and I are going out later, Danny.” Mom said. “Are you okay in the house for a couple of hours.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“You know the rules?”

“Yes, mom!” he sighed. “Don’t touch anything glowing and don’t mess around with anything I haven’t seen before.”

“And don’t touch my fudge.” Dad added. “That’s important. I swear Jazz is taking it.”

“That’s me, Jack.” Mom told him. “You’re not the only one that gets hungry when we’re working.”

“It’s you?” he gasped. “How dare you!”

Danny rolled his eyes. His parents didn’t fight often, but when they did, it was about the stupidest things. Fudge? Really? He and Jazz always fought about serious issues. Like t shirts.

He spent most of the morning in his room playing doomed with Tucker, who was as terrible as ever. Well, he wasn’t terrible, but compared to the guy they were playing against, – chaos – they were both amateurs. Around eleven, he went downstairs to try and forage for some sort of edible snack. He had no luck.

Ugh. He probably wasn’t even hungry. He was just bored as hell. Maybe he could have a poke around the lab and see the latest stupid invention mom and dad had built. Last time, it was the Fenton ectosplifer. Danny wasn’t sure what it did, but he was pretty sure ghosts didn’t exist and it was therefore useless. Like everything else his parents built. Why couldn’t they have a normal job? Tucker’s mom was a nurse and his dad did something in an office in the city centre. Tuck hadn’t been specific.

The lab was as freaky as ever. Danny wasn’t sure that there was a single thing in here that wasn’t glowing or beeping or making some kind of disconcerting noise. He shivered.

He picked up one of the machines on the lab worktable, turning it over in his hands. It was lighter than most of the stuff his parents made. Smaller too. He put it down again, moving on to the bigger and more exciting things further down.

He was halfway through examining a Fenton ectoblaster when he noticed the giant hole in the wall.

How the hell did he not notice that before?

His parents had been working on the ‘Fenton portal’ for months, but Danny and Jazz both agreed that nothing would ever come of it. The idea of a ghost realm was just too ridiculous. Despite their children’s scepticism, mom and dad had persevered, and now they had this gaping hole to show for their work.

Danny risked a look inside, sticking his head in past the ugly yellow and black entrance and pulling on one of those stupid suits his parents insisted he wear in the lab.

There were wires snaking everywhere, and the walls were grimy and grey. Danny could see why it didn’t work. After deciding it probably wasn’t all that dangerous, he took a few steps into the portal with more trepidation than he’d admit to.

It was deeper than it looked from the outside and it went back at least a couple of metres.

“Danny?” he heard his mom shout.

“In the lab!” he yelled up.

Danny glanced down at his feet. There really were a lot of wires. Maybe he should get out of here. He knew his dad often left frayed wires lying around, and he didn’t want to get a shock. He also didn’t want to trip…

With a shout, Danny fell to the floor, the wires tangled at his feet. He tugged, but he was firmly knotted up in them. His hand groped around on the wall, searching for a handhold. He grasped onto something sticking out, and pulled, trying to get himself up. His hand pushed something, and he fell back.

Pain rippled through his body. It was agony. He vaguely heard someone screaming, and a call of his name. he heard nothing else.

When he woke, Danny registered a shape hovering over him.

“Danny, you’re awake!” his dad beamed.

“Danny!” mom grinned. “How do you feel? You gave us quite a scare.”

“What happened?” he muttered, holding his hand to his head. “I feel like I was hit by the RV.”

“You had an accident.” His mom explained, her expression carefully neutral. “With the portal. You got a shock.”

“From the wires?”

She shook her head. “From the portal.”

Danny gave a weak laugh. “The one that doesn’t work?”

She didn’t even crack a smile at his joke. “It does now.” She told him. “Danny, you did something. We don’t know what. You turned it on.”

“I… _what?_ ”

“You must have hit something. Like I said, we’re not sure. But the portal is working now. It’s glowing green and everything.”

“Mom,”

“Danny,” her professional voice cracked, and he could hear the parent in her trickle through. “What were you thinking?” she exploded. “You die… you could have died in there! You know you’re not meant to touch anything dangerous.”

“I thought it didn’t work.” He protested.

“Danny.” He stiffened as she enveloped him in a crushing hug. “I’m just glad you’re ok. You are ok, sweetie? You don’t feel weird?”

“No?”

“Nothing different?”

“No? mom, what are you getting at?”

She smiled. “nothing. Nothing. You get some more sleep. We’re going to run a few tests to make sure you really are alright, then we’ll call your sister. She’s going to kill us.”

* * *

Danny forgot his mom’s questioning in lieu of discovering he was a ghost. He had come up the stairs, glad to finally get away from his parent’s attention and into his own bed, when he had doubled over in pain. When the pain stopped, he was glowing.

He had rushed to the bathroom mirror and had taken in his ivory hair and toxic eyes with terror. He had blinked, then the pain was back and he was himself again. Black hair. Blue eyes. The same freckles he had always hated.

He exhaled in relief.

Then it happened again.

* * *

_Three weeks later_

He was flying happily through the air after capturing a ghost in an alley behind the nasty burger, and now he was craving a double cheeseburger and fries. This new ghost hunting gig made him hungry as hell.

He was just about to turn back, when he heard a scream from a couple of streets down. Great. His burger could wait.

This ghost wasn’t very different from most of the ones he had had to deal with before. He’d only seen a couple of humanoid ones, and this was one of the weird octopus things. Danny hadn’t quite come up with a name for them yet. The only difference was this one was huge.

It had to be at least ten feet tall, if not more. Danny wasn’t the best judge of height.

He transformed quickly, shuddering as the cold rings washed over him. He still couldn’t get use to that. He powered up one of his ectoblasts and jumped into the fight, hoping he could stay in the air this time.

It was about five minutes into being slammed against walls by the ectopus (hey that was good) tentacles that his parents arrived.

As far as Danny was aware, they had yet to see a ghost. They certainly hadn’t seen him (he’d made sure of it) and this was pretty much the first public fight he’d had. They must have heard the screams while on one of their nightly patrols.

This wasn’t good. What if they recognised him!

No he was being stupid. He looked totally different in this form, and even he had trouble connecting his two forms in his own mind. They wouldn’t be able to tell.

His mom leapt out and immediately began firing her gun. Danny flinched and dodged as a stray ectoblast came hurtling towards him. His movement made his mom turn to look at him, and her eyes widened. Danny felt himself flinch and duck away from the gaze, quickly turning invisible and weaving out of the fight. He managed to capture the tentacle ghost thing with one of the weird thermoses that his parents made and he definitely hadn’t stolen, then he got out of there as quick as humanly (ghostly?) possible.

* * *

He slunk back into the house that evening, dreading the confrontation with his parents. He was sure his mom had recognised him, and she would almost certainly have told his dad. Would they say anything to him? Would they accept him, or would they try and… god, would they capture him? Do what they always threatened to do to ghosts?

Danny had grown up with stories of evil monsters getting their comeuppance; what if his parents did the same to him?

He tiptoed inside, taking care to wipe his shoes on the mat and take them off. He placed his bag carefully on the kitchen table instead of flinging it onto the sofa as he usually did. He was being so careful that he didn’t notice his parents come into the room.

“Danny.” Said mom. Danny jumped, whirling round and feeling like a deer caught in the bright headlights of a deer hunting truck.

“Hi, mom.”

“We need to talk.”

When adults said ‘we need to talk’, Danny knew it meant something serious was going on. He had only heard it from his own parents a couple of times in his life, the most notable being the time he accidentally broke his own leg with an ectoblaster and got ectoradiation poisoning at the same time. After that, mom and dad decided he needed to learn about lab safety. It wasn’t a fun week.

This time, he knew it was much more serious. This could be life or death. Half death, he supposed. He still wasn’t sure exactly what it was.

“We saw you today.” Mom continued. Her voice was low, but not dangerously so. “in the fight. We know it was you. That ghost.”

Danny opened his mouth to deny it, but closed it again soon after. He knew there was no point.

“How?” he asked instead.

Mom laughed, dry and humourless. She cleared her throat and dad stepped in.

“Remember when you had that lab accident?” he started.

“Yeah.”

Dad sighed. “we told you that you had a shock, but it was more than that. we came down and saw you in the portal, and god, Danny you were screaming and we thought you were dying. Then you came out… and,”

“You were a ghost.” Mom finished. “You had the white hair, and the inverted suit, and we thought you were dead. Then you changed back, and we decided not to tell you. We were still trying to figure out what it was, and I was panicked, and - “

“We both were.” Dad interjected. “We had no idea what to do, so we did nothing. We tried to forget it ever happened.”

“Except apparently, you found out about it on your own. How long have you been fighting ghosts Danny? It’s dangerous! You’ve already gotten hurt. You could get killed for real!”

Danny moved to hug his mom as she got closer and closer to tears. His dad, who was already sniffling, joined them, wrapping his arms around the two and embracing his family.

“Sorry.” Danny murmured, not sure if they heard him.

“There’s no need to be sorry.” His mom ground out. “Honey, we’re going to figure this out, but we’re going to do this together. All of us.”

Danny laughed and hugged her tighter. “Thanks mom.”

When Jazz came into the lab later on and found the three of them giggling over an ectogun, she was understandably confused, and signed them all up with a therapy session with Dr. Jazz. None of them enjoyed that. not even Jazz herself.

Then, to make matters worse, she made Danny change his shirt again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this one half written in my drafts for ages so I thought I'd finally get around to finishing it.


	16. Cookies and Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maddie Fenton is not stupid. She knows something is going on with her son.

Maddie Fenton was not an idiot. She may have been called one enough, usually because she was usually seen around her husband who _was_ on occasion an idiot, but she herself was proud to say that she had stayed away from idiocy when she had married into the Fentons.

She prided herself on being very intelligent – she had made more progress in ectology than any scientist in the last decade – and she wasn’t ashamed to admit that she kept her various trophies on a special shelf in the kitchen. Well, that last bit wasn’t quite true. She didn’t actually have any trophies, because the science community continued to be blind and ignorant, but she and Jack both had hopes that one day they’d get just a bit of recognition as something other than complete nutcases. As of now, it was a pipe dream.

Anyway, the point was, Maddie wasn’t stupid. She was fairly observant – she had to be to notice some of the things she did about ghosts. Her daughter’s love of psychology hadn’t come from nowhere either; Maddie had always had a love for the brain, and she transferred this passion over to observing ghost behaviour.

Because of these factors, Maddie had noticed there was something wrong with her son. Honestly, it was about as obvious as Vlad Master’s disgusting crush on her. You could see it from a mile off.

It had all started when Danny was fourteen, around the same time he started high school. He had suddenly started acting shifty and unnaturally clumsy. That could have been passed off as normal teenage secrecy or his father’s genes finally kicking in, but Maddie had a feeling it was not just that. It took her a while to realise that her son was slowly distancing himself from them, although he began to take a keen, if not obsessive interest in their weaponry (which he previously wanted nothing to do with).

Sighing, she wandered down to the lab with the intention of working on that ectoplasm sample she had got from the hunter ghosts the other day. She had made it to her microscope, and was about to start humming, when there was a crash.

Ordinarily, she would have chalked it up to Jack, tutted a bit and then left it be. Today however, Jack was out shopping in town, and she knew for a fact that both of her kids were out… somewhere.

She whipped around quickly. Just quickly enough to catch a certain ghost boy standing open mouthed and looking very much as if he had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar… which… Maddie narrowed her eyes. The ghost was holding two things. One, a Fenton thermos, and two, a large stack of the cookies she and Danny had made earlier.

Maddie gaped.

“Mo… Maddie!” the ghost cried, stuffing one of the cookies into his mouth and hiding the other behind his back, altogether acting like a three year old. “Maddie Fenton! What are you doing here? At Fentonworks. In your lab. Ha ha, what a coincidence!”

Maddie frowned, eyes calculating and eyeing the cookies suspiciously. “I live here.” She said flatly. “What are _you_ doing here, ghost?”

“Yeah…” he laughed, grimacing. “About that.”

“Yes?”

“Well, I was just uh… emptying my thermos. You know, I catch the ghosts, gotta put em back somehow. The only other guy with a portal is Vlad and I’m not going anywhere near him, so I uh… use yours. Hope you don’t mind?”

“Hope I don’t… what?” Maddie spluttered in disbelief. “Get out of my house!”

“But…”

“And leave the cookies behind.”

“Maddie!” he whined, and in that moment, he sounded exactly like Danny. Danny Fenton that is. She nearly forgot that he liked to be called Danny too.

She shook herself out of those unsettling thoughts. “Go.” She said. “And put them back on your way out. You can’t even eat.”

“Well…”

“Go away!”

“Ok. Going!” and he phased up out of the lab. Maddie heard the clatter of the cookie jar lid, and felt just a little smug satisfaction that he had actually put them back. It occurred to her later on that he really had eaten one of the cookies, which should be impossible. Sure, ghosts could make imitations of a human body. Some even had lookalike organs and bones inside, but they could not actually perform any bodily functions. It was a simple fact that she was quite sure of after years of dissection and study.

So why was Phantom different?

She heard another clatter from upstairs something falling in the kitchen. Growling under her breath, she stomped up the stairs to see what the commotion was about. She wasn’t entirely surprised to see her son standing on one of the kitchen chairs and reaching for the cookie jar. Honestly, she would have been absolutely fine if he had one, since he had helped her make them. It was just, his face looked almost _exactly_ like Phantom’s had earlier on. The same wide eyes, tensed shoulders and open mouth. If she didn’t know any better, she would say they were twins.

“Take a cookie and put the jar back, Danny.” She said. “Don’t you have homework to be doing?”

He laughed nervously, mouth stretching into an awkward grin. “Yeah. Yeah I do. Ok, thanks mom. Bye.”

“Thanks for what?” she wondered, but he was already gone.

Five minutes later, Maddie could have sworn she heard the front door creak although there was no one in the house but she and Danny, both of whom were nowhere near it.

Huh.

* * *

“So, Danny,” Jack said, a wide grin and eyes beaming. “How about a Fenton family games night tonight?”

If she wasn’t watching him, Maddie wouldn’t have caught his eyes widening and his panicked glance at his sister.

“That sounds… fun.” He stammered, evidently trying to convey something to Jazz through the way his eyebrows were moving in the most interesting way. “But I can’t. um, Tucker invited me to… bowling! Yeah, bowling. With him. And Sam. And uh, Valerie?”

“Danny.” Maddie said. “We don’t have a bowling alley in amity park.”

“We don’t?” he laughed, voice raising a few pitches. “Yeah, of course we don’t. Totally knew that. I was just kidding. We’re watching that new movie instead. You know…” his eyes glanced sideways, pleading for help from Jazz.

“Fast and furious… ah… seven!” Jazz finished, her own face panicked.

“There are seven of those things now?” Jack muttered. “Ridiculous.”

Although she agreed, Maddie could not bring herself to care, because she knew for a fact that the cinema was shut at the moment for refurbs since the last ghost fight had trashed it. She chose not to say anything. Instead, she placed her hand on Danny’s shoulder and smiled. God, his body was freezing.

“That’s a shame. Well, we won’t stop you kids from having fun. What about you, Jazz?”

Her daughter froze. “I have… homework. Essays. You know.”

It was the summer holidays.

“Sure. I guess me and your father can just play alone.”

Her kids winced. Maddie noticed.

As they awkwardly backed away into their respective bedrooms, Maddie put her hand to her chin in thought. Both of them had given any excuse to get away, implying that they had something to do that evening. In fact, Maddie couldn’t remember the last time the whole family had sat down for a meal together in the evening, let alone spent time together afterwards.

What were they doing?

It wasn’t just Danny who was acting strange either, Maddie observed. Recently, Jazz had begun acting in that same shifty way, and Maddie couldn’t help but see how alike they looked when their eyes widened and their bodies got ready to bolt. Evidently, she was now in on whatever Danny was hiding.

“Hey, Maddie?” she jumped when Jack’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“What?” she snapped, perhaps a little too harshly.

“Danny’s got another letter home from Lancer.” He sighed. “Look.” He held out a piece of paper that detailed Danny’s frankly appalling grades.

“He’s failing physics?” Maddie asked in disbelief. “He loves physics.”

“I know.” Her husband replied, brows furrowing in a rare moment of serious thought. “And art. How do you even do that? Its literally just drawing. He used to draw all the time.”

“There’s something up.” Maddie told him. “Danny’s changed.”

“He’s a growing boy. It’s inevitable. I remember when I was his age, and…”

“I know, you didn’t like your Lego anymore.”

“But now I miss it.” Jack sobbed. “I used to have a Lego millennium falcon, but then I lost it forever and I’ll never get it back!”

Maddie frowned. “Didn’t you ask the kids to get you that set for Christmas?”

“Well yeah,” he admitted, “But it’s not the same.”

“Anyway, Danny.” She interrupted.

“Yes.” He agreed. “Danny. They grow up, Maddie. It was the same with Jazz.”

“Jazz never failed school. Or stayed out past curfew. Or got injuries. Or…”

Jack sighed. “I suppose so. I just think we should try and let Danny do what he needs to do. Let him know we’re here to help if he wants it, but he won’t want us butting our heads in.”

“I know. Teenagers hate that, right?”

“Right.”

Maddie tried to believe it was just a case of teenageritis, she really did. She tried to dismiss his wide eyed panic as a disregard for authority and not an animal being threatened. She tried to let him get on with school by himself, and watched as his grades became worse and worse. She tried to ignore him sneaking out of the house at three in the morning and was there to do the obligatory grounding when he got back.

Nothing Maddie tried helped at all, and she watched her son get more and more visibly exhausted, and wanted to help more and more.

She tried sitting down to talk to him one time, which resulted in him storming out of the room after getting defensive, and Maddie didn’t know what to do. Teenagers were supposed to be impulsive and irrational, but this was getting ridiculous.

There was something seriously wrong with Danny, and she had to find out what.

* * *

Maddie’s next bit of damming evidence was another encounter with Phantom, who blanched away from her, and gave her the exact look her son had a few nights before. It was jarring to say the least.

The most horrible thing was, it was not the first time Maddie had seen the resemblance between Phantom and Danny. If you didn’t take his white hair and green eyes into account, they could practically be identical, and that chilled Maddie to the bones.

Was Phantom impersonating her son? Was he taking inspiration from him, or taking his body completely? Perhaps it was some kind of possession, which would explain Danny’s recent behaviour. If that was true, Maddie couldn’t say for sure if Danny had given his consent or not, because his shiftiness and avoidance suggested he knew exactly what was going on and was fine with it. She shook her head. That didn’t bear thinking about. Surely Danny knew never to fraternise with a ghost? She and Jack had taught him that at least.

She took off home, her head swirling with unwelcome thoughts.

Not more than a week after that encounter, Maddie finally got her answer. It was an answer she didn’t even consider, and she wasn’t even sure if she believed it.

All it took was the right place at the right time.

The family had gone out for a meal at a local restaurant, and Maddie had gone to the bathroom before the food came, mostly because she was bored. She was coming back when she noticed a shape running down the corridor and pausing outside the men’s bathroom. She realised with a start, that it was Danny.

Maddie watched as he glanced around, as if checking for watchful eyes, and then muttered something under her breath.

Bright rings of light erupted around his waist and she saw blue jeans turn to black spandex and that infernal logo appear on his chest.

She watched as her son died before her eyes.

She knew she let out a sound, but Danny (Phantom?) was so focused on himself that he didn’t notice. She stood there as he took flight and phased through the wall, presumably to go and fight some ghost.

Maddie was frozen on the spot for some time after that. Her brain tried and tried to comprehend what she’d seen, and when she was able to move, she stumbled home in a thoughtless daze. She registered Jack asking what was up, and she nearly tripped over one of Jazz’s textbooks as she went up the stairs. She collapsed into bed, but didn’t sleep for hours.

Maddie mulled over what she had seen in her head. It should be impossible. By all the known laws of science – that she herself had contributed to – Phantom shouldn’t exist. According to all known laws of aviation, there was no way he should be able to fly, or turn invisible or any of the crazy and _inhuman_ things that her son apparently did on a regular basis.

Was he even her son at this point? Maddie knew from all her research that ghost’s mental stability deteriorated over time, and as they became older and their cores matured, they became more erratic and violent in nature. Phantom was certainly one of the most violent ghosts Maddie had encountered.

Then there was the question of why Phantom chose to keep living as Danny. Why didn’t he go back to the ghost zone? _Why hadn’t she noticed her son was dead?_

Maddie let a single tear stagger down her cheek, before turning over to face the wall. She needed sleep. She could deal with this in the morning when she could think logically and come up with a solution. She needed to get down in the lab and somehow get some of Phantom’s DNA. Would it act like normal, or would it be ghostly? Would it give her some proof that she had really been living with a dead son for almost two years?

As she gave in to exhaustion, Maddie settled down onto her pillow, but her dreams were plagued with horrible images over and over and she woke up in a cold sweat several times.

Next to her, Jack slept soundly on, unaware of her emotional turmoil. And, in the next room, the ghost crept out of its bedroom window for another night of fighting. Maddie watched it go with a stoic silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had half of this in my drafts for months, and once again, I finally got round to finishing it. So if you notice a massive change in the writing style towards the end, that's because it was written about five months after the rest. Anyway, enjoy!


	17. The twitter fic no one asked for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phantom gets twitter and the world goes crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest I've ever spent on one of these and I took forever trying to figure out how to add images. Hope you like it.

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

I was finally convinced to get twitter… this is gonna go well.

2723 retweets 567 comments 3354 likes

Comments:

 **Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

Wait are you actually Phantom what the fuck

**Danny fantom** @phantom200

Is this real?

**Katie Gardner** _@katie_

This has got to be fake. A ghost can’t use social media.

See thread: 23 comments

**Paulina Sanchez** _@prettypaulie_

GHOST BOY!!!!!

**Fentonworks** _@fentonworksOfficial_

Don’t panic, we will endeavour to get rid of this evil ghost.

See thread: 58 comments

**Starboy** _@DannyFenton_

Wait you guys have twitter? I feel uncomfortable about this.

**Danny Phantom** _@IWishIWasPhantom_

Phantom isn’t the bad guy here! You Fentons are crazy.

**Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

_@IWishIWasPhantom_ Ikr! I don’t get why they would want to destroy the ghost keeping them safe!

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

So a lot of people wanted proof of my existence, so heres a selfie. Trust me, I didn’t want to take this. My friend made me. Sorry in advance.

90k retweets 29k comments 1.2M likes

Comments:

 **Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

OH. MY. GOD

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod

Asdfghjkljljlkgjl

**Dash Baxter** _@dash35_

@ItsPhantomBitches hey dude! I’m like your biggest fan!

See thread: 43 comments

**Danny Phantom** _@phantom234_

Mcfucking scuse me? You’ll find that title goes to me!

**Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

…or not.

**Paulina Sanchez** _@prettypaulie_

_@dash35_ which one of us has a literal shrine in their locker dedicated to him?

That’s right. Me.

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

Guys… what the fuck?

**Miranda Sloan** _@miraMira_

We’re all just ignoring the fact that Phantom just swore?

90k retweets 29k comments 1.2M likes

See comments:

**Jake Knowles** _@jake62_

I did a thing

200 retweets 67 comments 2855 likes

Comments:

 **Sandra Castro** _@castaway_

Well done you’ve badly edited a picture have a gold star.

See thread: 13 comments

**DebRa** _@weMustBeStrong_

Ngl he looks really cute. _@ItsPhantomBitches_ can we get you in a flower crown?

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

Uh… no? Maybe? Why do I actually want to try it?

**Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ oh my god please do it!

See 40 other replies:

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

Ask and ye shall receive. I hate you guys.

400k retweets 45k comments 3.2M likes

**Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

Gbghvjfbfghchc I HAVE ASCENDED OH MY GOD

**Dana Rhodes** _@helpMe_

Phantom is so cute! Like, how can any human being be this cute??

See 12 other replies:

**Fentonworks** _@fentonworksOfficial_

Is that the Fenton portal? We don’t know how you got into our lab, but you won’t do it again.

_@ItsPhantomBitches_ replied:

Chill guys! Jazz and Danny let me in. Don’t worry I’m not breaking and entering.

**Fentonworks** _@fentonworksOfficial_

 _@DannyFenton_ Danny is this true?

**Starboy** _@DannyFenton_

I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

Ghost council meetings are so boring someone ask me something I need a distraction.

**Rebecca Hayde** _@beccaH_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ how do you always know when there's a ghost? Like, you’re always there on the news – what if you’re sleeping or something?

**Fentonworks** _@fentonworksOfficial_

_@beccaH ghosts don’t sleep._

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

 _@fentonworksOfficial_ um _actually_ I love sleeping. We don’t have to, but most of us do anyway. Sleeping’s fun! Also _@beccaH,_ you know how spiderman has his spider sense thingy… yeah.

**Katie Gardner** _@katie_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ if you’re really a ghost, then how did you die?

**Katie Gardner** _@katie_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ answer me!

_@ItsPhantomBitches_ replied:

I don’t like to talk about it – it’s kind of a personal thing. Got any other burning

questions that aren’t about my literal death?

**Danny Phantom** _@ItsPhantomBitches_

Right so I was out on patrol, and there were these ghost wolves right, and they were sort of howling. So I decided to join in cause why the hell not, and so me and this pack of glowing wolves were screaming up to the full moon and then this random dude walked past and it was so awkward! But also glowing wolves.

35k retweets 7k comments 2.6M likes

**Wes Weston** _@FentonIsPhantom_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ seriously? You’re on here now? News flash people, _@DannyFenton,_ Danny Phantom… notice anything?

Comments:

 **Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

Uh… no? are you that weird conspiracy guy?  
  


**Wes Weston** _@FentonIsPhantom_

THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME. They literally have the same name! Phantom is a play on Fenton! What ghost would literally name themselves ‘ghost’? WHY IS EVERYONE BLIND???

**Starboy** _@DannyFenton_

Plot twist, Wes Weston is actually Phantom.

**Wes Weston** _@FentonIsPhantom_

 _@ItsPhantomBitches_ What the fuck Fenton?

**Phantom for life** _@phangirl23_

 _@FentonIsPhantom_ he has a point… are you Phantom?

**Wes Weston** _@FentonIsPhantom_

NO! SHUT UP! Goddammit Fenton.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to give prompts or request for one shots, because I'm not the best at coming up with them and I will run out of idea at some point in the near future.


End file.
